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op here! Turns out I sorta kinda went over her head about it and now my vacation time has been approved! Of course said manager wasn't happy, but of course I went to HR about it and they seemed to have taken care of it. So starting June 22nd I will be on a cruise with my lovely wife!

How d'you like them apples?

By an Apple a day my ass! - 11/10/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, in an effort to curb my drinking, I’ve tried eating an apple whenever I got the urge, which worked wonderfully for a couple of days, until the sudden influx of fiber in my diet caused me to violently shit myself miles from home. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 269

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boyfriend is so insanely insecure that he actually got jealous when a nearly 80 year-old man told me I had a beautiful smile while grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 136

By youfuckingslut - 11/11/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 731

You deserved it 3 384

By Vastu - 07/02/2010 17:42 - Nepal

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 869

You deserved it 19 504

Vastu tells us more.

Vastu 5

Monday 8 February 2010 17:46

well. the maid cant pay because we give her 15$ PER month. and we cant deduct it because... IN rural places of Nepal , where my servant comes from, one family consists of 9/10 sons or daughters .. so that 15$ directly goes to her HUGE family.

By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 423

You deserved it 4 097

I'm fine, this is fine

By btg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 694

You deserved it 3 666

By Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 209

You deserved it 3 398

Casual hate speech

By coveredupforfun - 04/02/2015 03:13 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I saw my coworker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 215

By Kere - 03/02/2011 16:42 - Sweden

Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 908

You deserved it 6 660

By Ewwwwww - 04/02/2010 18:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 3 353

By Danno - 01/01/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 7 427

By fml - 02/02/2011 09:48

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 112

You deserved it 6 133

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 093

You deserved it 40 734

Deadbeat

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 02:00

Today, I tracked down my birth dad. He lives in a massive house, with a wife and two kids, 3 cars and a fucking sailboat on the drive. My mom and I grew up in poverty, but I was calm when I confronted him. He had his gardeners throw me into the street like I was inconvenient trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 292

Take it where you can

By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 162

By littlekellilee - 07/10/2013 16:20 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 183

You deserved it 5 078

littlekellilee tells us more.

littlekellilee 45

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:45

Thanks for the kind words towards my cat, she's feeling much better! The comments were all hilarious! I think he was just still feeling sensitive about the fight because he apologized shortly after and admitted to acting crazy. I think I'll probably keep him around, he's a pretty good guy usually and definitely hasn't done this before. I'll keep an eye out though. Thanks everyone!