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Ok... I'm the lady who raised the ducks and I'm not an idiot. 1. at my lake all the female ducks except 2 have been killed or something and only males are left. So I raised some in hope of balancing the equation and hopefully see some chicks within a while. 2. I've done this before, and ducks are wild, so they have know how to survive without me, the other ones did great, but they turned out to be all male except one female, so that's why I tried again the next year. And the ducks that are born in the wild at my lake are hand fed by the people that live here and aren't scared, they run to you thinking that you have bread. 3. I found out later that the dogs that had killed the ducks had also killed some ones kittens, and a cat as well as another small dog. They are now in the animal shelter because they were dangerous. 4. My sisters were upset but next year I'll just get some more, I enjoy watching them grow, and they other four ducks are doing great, surviving like all the other ducks. :) so yeah, not an idiot, just wanted to clear that up. I thought the story would make some people laugh... so I shared it. Have a nice day... God bless.

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 27 764

By Karin - 13/08/2011 20:29 - Germany

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 10 769

By JoeyDizz - 06/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 334

You deserved it 66 743

By tylah - 23/06/2012 15:11 - United States - Piscataway

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 229

You deserved it 3 028

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 328

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 45

I never thought this happened in real life

By Keith - 19/05/2022 10:00

Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 304

By facefuckedguy - 12/08/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 10 048

Oh, the patriarchy

By confused - 09/02/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 200

No uggos please

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsbluff

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 898

You deserved it 4 565

Plug it

By Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 602

You deserved it 16 918

Listen up

By Pfnüselfüsel - 20/07/2023 18:00

Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 123

By oops - 08/08/2011 18:11 - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 3 766

By power corrupts... - 07/08/2011 20:29 - Czech Republic

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 084

You deserved it 12 063

Too much Pornhub

By anouk05 - 15/10/2010 05:13 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend told me, "Don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 4 669

Losers weepers

By WheresMyPhone - 25/07/2023 00:02

Today, it's been 8 days since I left Indiana for Texas. It also marks the eighth day since my mother happily "saved me a ton of money" by sending my forgotten phone on its way via USPS ground instead of overnight. My phone is now marked stuck in transit and no postal worker knows where it is. You get what you pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 228

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 17:36 - Sweden - Kristianstad

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 4 461

By holly10350 - 14/10/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 022

You deserved it 30 055

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 872

You deserved it 3 979

Bad hair day

By grow_fasterrr - - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 907

You deserved it 5 571

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The Top

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 4 669

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 020

You deserved it 8 683

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 414

You deserved it 5 733

Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 708

You deserved it 3 608

Today, my wife, who has been unemployed for over two years, had a $415k job offer rescinded, all because the hiring manager thinks she might be a Karen (Yes, she is). My job contract ended last month, so we have no income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 215

Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 71