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By GymnasticsQueen - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 3 376

GymnasticsQueen tells us more.

GymnasticsQueen 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 2:26

Ok, first of all you don't know me so you have no right to criticize me. You don't know how much pain I am in. I twisted my wrist when I fell. I am really good at gymnastics so don't say ANYTHING about that, but now I can't go to practice until my wrist is better. I was putting her present in the passenger seat, I wouldn't get out on the passenger side if I was driving so I had no way to know there was ice there. I'm not rich and neither is the rest of my family. My sister has been wanting these wine glasses since the Christmas of 2008. I couldn't find them anywhere. I have money set aside for gifts and things like that so I don't have to worry about making sure I have enough money; I have been setting money aside like that since I was 16.

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 11:36 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 237

You deserved it 2 150

By Cherrish it - 04/09/2012 04:24 - United States - Carmichael

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 613

You deserved it 58 932

The usual?

By Cian_1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Herne Bay

Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 633

You deserved it 6 889

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 467

You deserved it 4 328

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 596

You deserved it 1 996

By embarrassed niece - 09/07/2013 16:15 - United States - Cumming

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 50 189

Get it off!

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 44 989

Where on Earth do you work?

By Embarrassed ass. - 23/10/2015 04:05 - United States - Oregon City

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 934

You deserved it 3 954

Typical

By Anonymous - 16/05/2013 20:54 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 365

You deserved it 9 478

By Mmm - 25/07/2015 10:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 376

You deserved it 23 174

By FriendlessLoser - 17/08/2016 07:11 - United States - Bristow

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 699

You deserved it 2 744

By shameonme - 01/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 828

You deserved it 17 417

By Anonymous - 24/10/2014 17:49 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 184

You deserved it 3 912

By Not so much of a teachers pet - 22/10/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 256

You deserved it 5 785

Terminating

By Tee - 11/12/2009 09:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 891

You deserved it 4 634

By SariLone - 19/05/2013 18:02 - India - Mumbai

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 020

You deserved it 8 683

Sign this!

By Stairs? Noooooo - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Leandro

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 1 595

Richard?

By fartbucket51995129565 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 607

You deserved it 6 949

Suitcase mystery

By BaggedDown - 08/05/2014 01:25 - United States - Rochester

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I'm afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 6 375

By anonymous - 26/03/2013 18:31 - United States - Staten Island

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 45 767

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 009

You deserved it 33 561

By blaahh - 19/02/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 451

You deserved it 17 697

By minette08 - 29/01/2010 21:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 122

You deserved it 3 071

By Jugan - 19/10/2012 21:44 - France - Vaulx-milieu

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 441

You deserved it 39 392

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 16:16 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 807

You deserved it 3 055

Horndogs

By bullah007 - 28/11/2014 18:43 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 4 435

Both of you are bad

By driver26 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 41 763

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 16:38 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 485

You deserved it 14 569

By fuckmee - 01/08/2017 05:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 20 960

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The Top

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 788

You deserved it 4 358

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 672

You deserved it 9 813

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 3 896

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 756

You deserved it 37 426

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 194

You deserved it 5 665

Today, months after my dad's death, my mother keeps telling me she "realized" how abusive he was, and how she wished she knew, but she swears innocence when I tell her she was just as abusive and enabled it all while he was alive, even being in the same room and doing nothing while he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 95