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The illustrated FMLs

Today, I was on my motorbike, riding through town, when a bird collided with my crash helmet. I lost my balance, and fell. As a result: a leg, a rib and a wrist of mine were broken. The EMT guy helpfully reassured me that the pigeon was A-OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By badpigeon - / Friday 24 February 2017 18:35 / France - Le Mans
The illustrated FMLs

  Today, as a caterer, I’m busy taking care of a huge Mexican reception. Taking a quick break once I’ve got the chance, I shuffle off to the toilet, get my penis out and scream in pain. Note to self: make sure hands are clear of any form of chili peppers before peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Anonyme / Thursday 22 December 2016 18:39 / Mauritius - Flor?al
The illustrated FMLs

Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon. It looked magnificent, so I took a few photos and went back to bed. When I later got up, I noticed the orange street light outside. I’d been admiring a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By chachichou / Thursday 8 December 2016 03:05 / France - Strasbourg
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Grandzilla / Friday 9 September 2016 04:10 / France - Ablancourt
The illustrated FMLs

Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Arachnofail / Friday 8 April 2016 04:16 / France - Goussainville
The illustrated FMLs

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Ecolo-girl / Friday 11 March 2016 06:22 / France - Quint
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks
By DarkChild / Thursday 11 February 2016 22:18 / France
The illustrated FMLs

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

I agree, your life sucks
By sciencenat / Thursday 14 January 2016 06:36 / France - V?lizy-villacoublay
The illustrated FMLs

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Jack - / Sunday 10 January 2016 02:07 / United States - Minneapolis
The illustrated FMLs

Today, and as always, I recycle my trash at work: paper in the yellow trashcan, the rest in the black one. This morning, I saw a cleaning lady empty the contents of the black trashcan into the yellow one, put the whole lot into a big plastic bag and then leave as if this was normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By rainperson / Thursday 7 January 2016 10:18 / France - Paris
The illustrated FMLs

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side containing the spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Anonyme / Thursday 17 December 2015 06:24 / France - Lyon
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By yvon la moto / Friday 6 November 2015 10:26 / Spain - Madrid
The illustrated FMLs

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Oli974 / Thursday 22 October 2015 13:08 / France - N?ves-parmelan
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Mel - / Monday 5 October 2015 04:21 / France - Toulouse
The illustrated FMLs

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By caisse à outs / Wednesday 23 September 2015 01:06 / France - Saint Quentin
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By princeronron / Tuesday 8 September 2015 02:02 / Switzerland - Prilly
The illustrated FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks
By Anonyme / Wednesday 2 September 2015 04:21 / France - Mitry-mory
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rosanes
Shivara
Ellanacoach
Fleur_de_lyss
bruuuuuuh
censo_red
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Mush84
auroore97

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

# Nickname Bites
1 MysteryGuitarMan 447
2 whatshername?! 354
3 im365sostressed 7
4 CaseyR 4
5 double_A_17 0
6 curlyhairedeli 0
7 disregarded 0
8 sophia052535 0
9 Bigdhuskerfan 0
10 NashvilleSummer 0
# Total 812

vampire

# Nickname Bites
1 newbiemalestr8 2600
2 BadAtPuns 1457
3 Ashamed_Sister 1000
4 abigiggles 220
5 hellsingthecreator93 183
6 Dave_Davington 135
7 EclipticaLibra 120
8 Vaella 81
9 Callyn 48
10 xsandra 45
# Total 6180

werewolf

# Nickname Bites
1 MrGoesNuts 930
2 Taurus_ChicKa 50
3 thisisbutaname 39
4 tinyme2 3
5 ohnoo_ew 0
6 sami_91 0
7 aquarius2 0
8 aquarius 0
9 muffin69 0
10 cometdancer10159 0
# Total 1022
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29 years-old
MCMS17
20 years-old
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25 years-old
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42 years-old
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