"Your degree will open so many doors" By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 The way I live determined, that was a lie! I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 116 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 948 You deserved it 159 086
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML I agree, your life sucks 224 312 You deserved it 35 846
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 846 You deserved it 4 016
Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 527 You deserved it 227
Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 304 You deserved it 349
Today, our baby cries constantly, except for when our grumpy old feral tom cat comes over to lay beside her, lick her head and so on. This bastard cat is the most ornery sumbitch I've ever met and bites worse than a bear trap, yet he's a better dad than I am. Plus, he looks so damn smug while he's doing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 931 You deserved it 275
Today, thanks to that goddamn Trump, my business is going under. All the guys I count on to do jobs have dipped, and hiring new ones will force me to hike my prices through the roof. I'm going to have to cancel three contracts and might get sued. FML I agree, your life sucks 433 You deserved it 633
Today, I think I had a mini orgasm when the baker told me that the chocolate croissant I'd just chosen was still warm. FML I agree, your life sucks 241 You deserved it 144