When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 355 You deserved it 118 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML I agree, your life sucks 78 222 You deserved it 5 441
Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 842 You deserved it 41 205
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML I agree, your life sucks 40 469 You deserved it 6 739
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 595 You deserved it 3 081
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 91
Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 487 You deserved it 159
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅