Intimacy Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

You what?

- 30/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML

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Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

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W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

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Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

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IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

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tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

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allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

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hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

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Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

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Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

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songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

FlightlessTalk 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:58

break up with her sorry ass. heartless.

joeyfrogs 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:34

Kill her

nobody_special 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 7:40

You sure it was a hicky? Could've been a scratch or a bruise... If not, I feel bad for you

IMz0r 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 1:05

'Tis pity she's a *****

playful2088 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 4:50

lucky girl gets alot of action 'down there' lol.

mattypants 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 21:15

#3 is right. She was honest, you can either dump her with good reason now. Otherwise you can be just another guy to her.

dizzle_doneski 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 4:57

XDD, well it's not that bad.. a girl could have given her that.. ask her

MTBowen11191993 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:20

At least she was honest. It sucks and you should end it, but at least she was honest.

dutchess_ 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:29

oops...! it happens...

Faced159 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 3:19

that's what you get for dating a ****!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it's been a few weeks since I moved into my own place, so I decided to visit my parents. I rang to ask for a good time to come over but all I got was basically, "Nope, you’re moved out now, a grown up, no longer our problem, ring us when you get some girl pregnant with our first grandbaby, bye." FML

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Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

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Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

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Today, during an online class, I forgot to mute myself while trying to get my dog to poop. The whole class, including my professor, heard me sing “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa to motivate her. They all had many questions when I came back on camera. FML

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Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

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Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

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