Love: Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told...

By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

agreeclassic 31 512

vote type 1 7 377

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Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

agreeclassic 1 810

vote type 1 300

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 55 953

vote type 1 6 682

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

agreeclassic 12 930

vote type 1 38 564

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

agreeclassic 10 697

vote type 1 43 490

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

agreeclassic 74 905

vote type 1 7 264

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

agreeclassic 37 044

vote type 1 7 951

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

agreeclassic 47 531

vote type 1 12 493

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

agreeclassic 21 984

vote type 1 43 219

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 22 711

vote type 1 9 544

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 815

vote type 1 356

Futacy 29

Monday 3 September 2012 2:36

1 drink = 1 honest statement

flockz 19

Monday 3 September 2012 2:37

did you spoon her when you got back to her place? or was the vomit too much of a turn off?

Comments

Boob_fml 6

Monday 3 September 2012 8:24

Mama bird!

i8amarshmallow 1

Monday 3 September 2012 8:24

well that escalated quickly

phansmootchie 5

Monday 3 September 2012 8:27

this is what you call a "secret" and you take it to your grave...

xmaximusx 12

Monday 3 September 2012 8:29

Lmao thats awesome man, you propose the next morning?

randomkayx3 11

Monday 3 September 2012 8:32

Have a dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!

SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25

Monday 3 September 2012 8:38

I wouldn't let such a drunk stranger near me.

RinaOfTheDead 0

Monday 3 September 2012 8:57

Hey, free meal.

jdg_3689 0

Monday 3 September 2012 10:37

Just hit it and quit it! lol

RenZia777 3

Monday 3 September 2012 10:47

that is absolutely disgusting!!!!

mrsmaglietta 6

Monday 3 September 2012 13:00

gross.

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Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

agreeclassic 15 146

vote type 1 39 082

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

agreeclassic 33 912

vote type 1 2 565

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

agreeclassic 28 857

vote type 1 6 529

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

agreeclassic 52 199

vote type 1 7 699

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

agreeclassic 424

vote type 1 96

Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

agreeclassic 11 667

vote type 1 34 776

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