Intimacy: Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 011

You deserved it 12 255

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 5 830

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 547

You deserved it 10 692

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 945

You deserved it 646

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 34 533

By OUCH. - 17/11/2011 21:27 - United States

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 3 415

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 323

You deserved it 3 241

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 20:22 - United States

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 717

You deserved it 40 157

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 22:39 - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 913

You deserved it 7 514

Skinny love

By Too much skin? - 18/02/2018 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 718

You deserved it 392

Run away, now

By Anonymous - 15/12/2016 04:50

Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 434

You deserved it 1 089

DFlit1 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 16:22

Better late than never... No but really that sucks I'm sorry OP

volleyballgrrl 6

Saturday 31 December 2011 16:28

At least you're not your girlfriend.. she has that stuck in her mouth! Ummm eww?

Comments

misfitmonroe 4

Saturday 31 December 2011 22:50

High time to buy her a mouth guard? Or how about the little cases of wax the orthodontist hands out to put on the brackets to keep them from cutting the inside of the mouth?

SheepShoop_fml 20

Saturday 31 December 2011 22:56

Oh wow, I am so sorry. I wish you a speedy recovery, and hopefully nothing has been too messed up.

grizz11 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 22:59

Never hump a bear trap

jsuperbitch 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:10

Black and decker pecker wrecker! That's super terrible!

butterflybella 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:15

Mazel tov

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:17

Lucky thats the only thing you experience! It could have been worse. You didn't have to call 911?

ninjacapo 2

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:26

Owwwwwwww

malzi21 8

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:54

Well, are you Jewish???

LMFAOallthetime 8

Saturday 31 December 2011 23:55

How old is she?? That's just plain scary!

msjoyfull84 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 0:02

They have wax for braces, wax it up and enjoy. After you wiener heals, of course.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss, and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he'd just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped, and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 155

You deserved it 21 575

Today, I went to a new hair salon that has just opened down my street. I asked them for a trim and a little bit of layering, just to keep things smart and professional. I walked out looking like a cross between a pineapple and a mop. Of course, as is often the case after a bad haircut, I have a job interview in two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 256

Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 115

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 983

You deserved it 2 919

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 826

You deserved it 42 674

Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 72

Same thing different taste

Skinny love

Run away, now

Top comments

Comments