Work, Health and Poopoo peepee: Stuck in a holding pattern

Stuck in a holding pattern

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, i managed to carve an hour out of my daily working-from-home grind to get some exercise and fresh air, only to spend all of that time stuck in the bathroom trying to take the same shit. I fucking loathe having Crohn's disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 121

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Silver linings

By Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 82

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 726

You deserved it 3 895

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 02:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 493

You deserved it 5 814

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 465

You deserved it 11 668

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 10:00 - United States - Big Lake

Today, I either have to shit my brains out on the hour every hour like clockwork, or stop taking my medicine and go back to suffering debilitating PTSD. Regardless, I’m spending half of my day locked in a small space and unable to live freely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 122

Work out

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 562

You deserved it 4 404

Life's good

By Petergibbons - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 339

You deserved it 2 935

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 559

You deserved it 3 997

TW: Gross

By mpfrost153 - 01/11/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 131

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 12 October 2023 5:48

I've heard about drugs that are supposed to work on that. I'm not sure if they are any good, but they sure have catchy jingles. And at the end of the day, isn't that what really matters? Nothing is everythi-i-i-ing, whoa-oh-oh-oh!