Sex, Relatable, Cute Intimacy Squelching the night away

Squelching the night away

alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Rush of gas

Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

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Giggle loop

Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

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Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

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Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

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Honky

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

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Valid reason

stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

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Rico Suave

eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

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Turn off

Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

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Fond memories

-_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

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atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

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qwertycode 19

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

At least he's comfortable around you :]

mariah_1_11 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

gabby9982 11

Monday 6 July 2015 5:15

Tell him to man up it's not your fault haha

jezka374 15

Monday 6 July 2015 5:30

It's his fault for entering at that angle... Make sure you let him know that the next time it happens... Should stop his laughter for a second ;)

limegreenpoopie 31

Monday 6 July 2015 5:56

At least he has a good sense of humor About it :)

AlyssaDiannaa 20

Monday 6 July 2015 6:38

Keep your head above your hips if you're in doggy! It prevents queefing!!

MrZsDad 19

Monday 6 July 2015 9:50

Thinking about the logistics of this situation, he really shouldnt be laughing.

missd420 16

Monday 6 July 2015 14:10

This happened to me the first time I had sex with my husband. try changing positions next time.

Omniprism 14

Monday 6 July 2015 17:25

You are not alone. This happened to me my first time. You gotta learn to not suck are in or squeeze your vaginal walls. You'll get it. Don't worry. Remember our bodies do some crazy ass things. Maybe though plan a payback for your boyfriend for ditching you at a vulnerable time.