Miscellaneous: Shark Week - FML

Shark Week

By sharkboy - 11/06/2012 02:33 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

agreeclassic 12 921

vote type 1 31 296

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By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 01:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

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By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

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Close up

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 15:57 - United States - Lancaster

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

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Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

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Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

agreeclassic 42 010

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By Unsuspecting - 16/04/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

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Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

agreeclassic 845

vote type 1 136

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

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By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

agreeclassic 34 155

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

eeppiicc 8

Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Eating her would have solved that problem.

Sunyboy 12

Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Shark week is beast.

Comments

Sw33ttp13 1

Tuesday 12 June 2012 4:53

Your girlfriend is awesome

Snackycake 20

Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:07

Du nu du nu...du nu du nu du nu du nu SHARK ATTACK

crazybunnyattack 11

Tuesday 12 June 2012 6:16

Well...don't you? YDI

Winsky100 4

Tuesday 12 June 2012 6:45

Your girlfriend equals the best ever!!!

hewro_failure 11

Wednesday 13 June 2012 0:54

What a bitch ... That deserves a punch in the ****

dspohn39 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 6:28

You sir have an awesome girlfriend. Seriously though I think she was just trying to be funny.

ellytoad 13

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:03

Time for a well-deserved lesson in humor, then.

evie779 5

Monday 18 June 2012 23:19

that sucks that a girl would punch her boyfriend even though she knows he's kidding and is not. I would so be mad at her

doglover100 28

Saturday 7 July 2012 19:22

I think she was trying to be funny

ellytoad 13

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:01

Punching someone isn't even near the definition of funny.

neznana 2

Sunday 11 November 2012 9:38

This is brilliant... Ur gf sounds AWESOME keep her :)

BVBARMY1238 9

Tuesday 11 December 2012 3:34

She has a point

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