Customers, Religion and Work: Forgive me

Forgive me

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the Crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

agreeclassic 25 788

vote type 1 4 327

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

For life

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

agreeclassic 20 327

vote type 1 62 308

Suspicious

By StevieMe - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

agreeclassic 18 787

vote type 1 99 837

Lucky

By mislabelled mother - this FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML

agreeclassic 1 990

vote type 1 6 252

Paranoid

By MaddyN - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

agreeclassic 47 058

vote type 1 3 538

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

agreeclassic 17 828

vote type 1 72 211

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

agreeclassic 53 887

vote type 1 4 727

Back to square one

By nurseITHINKNOT - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

agreeclassic 47 826

vote type 1 3 964

Taking the piss

By Mug - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

agreeclassic 29 269

vote type 1 2 243

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

agreeclassic 43 522

vote type 1 4 118

Snappy

By DamnDogs - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

agreeclassic 21 751

vote type 1 5 747

zingline89 18

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:08

Did it take him 3 days to rise? If so, you're not very good.

winfieldALJD 6

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:34

I love how the FML Team can't be thumbed up or down.

Comments

zingline89 18

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:08

Did it take him 3 days to rise? If so, you're not very good.

Kolden 11

Friday 23 November 2012 0:33

Oooooooooooh, that was amazing.

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:08

Christ compells thee to get on thine knees!

lostcrazydiamond 10

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:10

You know, some believe ****** is a time of spiritual connection. Just how violated did Jesus get? :p

TrailblazerSS 5

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:11

Maybe Jesus liked it!

TrailblazerSS 5

Thursday 22 November 2012 18:43

Sorry #4 didn't see your comment.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:12

Well at least it wasn't a Virgin Mary tattoo, right?

Spectre529 12

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:15

I Bet they both liked it =p

FlyingPie 17

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:16

Let's hope Jesus did knot mind.

lostcrazydiamond 10

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:19

He probably kneaded that.

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:26

I'm sure it rubbed him the right way.

jep00 8

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:18

Aha

laurensauren 9

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:35

Some of the FMLs posted lately are ridiculous.

rivaraven 35

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:41

Well let's hope it felt good for him, too.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

agreeclassic 49 505

vote type 1 4 644

Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML

agreeclassic 12 356

vote type 1 29 530

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

agreeclassic 23 600

vote type 1 1 637

Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML

agreeclassic 772

vote type 1 228

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

agreeclassic 61 018

vote type 1 4 448

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

agreeclassic 23 231

vote type 1 50 972

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments