Fishing Break Brake Fail! By FML Approved - 07/09/2017 03:30 Easy living isn't always easy... I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 190 Share Tweet Share
Today, I read a PostSecret that said, "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 952 You deserved it 11 998
Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying, "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 935 You deserved it 6 007
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 60 007 You deserved it 5 140
Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 026 You deserved it 8 070
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 316 You deserved it 10 386
Today, I found out that both my younger sisters are bringing their boyfriends home for Christmas. The youngest is 25, and he's actually her fiancé. The other is 30, and she and her boyfriend have been living together for over a year. I'll be the 36-year-old spinster in the twin bed upstairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 608 You deserved it 346
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML I agree, your life sucks 289 You deserved it 506
Today, I had no choice but to break up with my fiancee because my son absolutely despised her, no matter what I try to do, made me choose either her or him. I'll always choose him, but… FML I agree, your life sucks 373 You deserved it 172
Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes.