- FML

By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 149

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

utzdman55 20

Saturday 15 July 2017 4:52

Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.

Comments

utzdman55 20

Saturday 15 July 2017 4:52

Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Public freakouts Cops Miscellaneous Fight Relatable Love Money Smartphone Telephones NSFW Sex Intimacy Dogs Animals Awkward Work Parents Mother in law Kids Job interview Health Weird Grandparents Food Shopping Delivery Friends Weddings Clothes Mysterious

The Top

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739 152

You deserved it 496 187

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 823

You deserved it 1 859

Random

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 190

You deserved it 5 733

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 238

You deserved it 7 767

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 504

You deserved it 4 569

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 2 499

Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 236

Today, I walked in on my husband sniffing my sister’s panties from her laundry basket. He had the gall to defend himself and told me, “If you wore these sexy thongs and cheekies instead of them granny panties, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I wear “granny panties” because I recently gave birth to our daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 166