By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 943 You deserved it 2 107
Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 680 You deserved it 3 333
Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 790 You deserved it 3 286
Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML I agree, your life sucks 37 467 You deserved it 9 024
Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML I agree, your life sucks 6 455 You deserved it 593
Today, we had an assembly with my entire grade to elect the graduation committee. When I got up to get nominated for the yearbook team, I stumbled and face-planted on stage. In front of 89 people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 598 You deserved it 314
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.