Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 22:45 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my cousins from the other side of the ocean sent me a message saying they wanted to see photos of my new baby with my wife. I told them it'd be better if they came and met him, mostly because I want to see them too. They then blocked me on Facebook. FML

wififorme - 18/04/2016 22:40 - United States - Woodside

Today, I sat awkwardly in my car in a parking lot outside of a coffee shop to use the free wifi to watch YouTube videos because I'm too cheap to get internet in my apartment. FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 22:34 - United States - Olathe

Today, my dog ate a rabbit, whole, in my back yard. He then proceeded to throw up partly digested rabbit guts all over my carpet, and my shoes. FML

whowhy - 18/04/2016 22:30 - United States

Today, I let my girlfriend drive my new lexus IS 250 f sport. she's has been begging me to let her drive it ever since I got it. so i said why not. Not even 20 minutes later, I get a phone call from her telling me she crashed it. FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 21:43 - Portugal - Vila Nova De Gaia

Today, my boyfriend and I are so broke that we celebrated our 11 year anniversary with a romantic dinner of sandwiches and fries. FML

Ouch - 18/04/2016 21:41 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I attempted to masturbate after eating some flamin' hot cheetos. It still burns. FML

anon - 18/04/2016 21:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, is the 22nd day of my period. To top it off, I've had excruciatingly painful cramps everyday, and a male p.e. teacher who thinks cramps are just excuses. FML.

deepan_dsouza - 18/04/2016 21:35 - India - Mumbai

Today, while photographing a kids birthday party I accidentally touched the ass of the woman who booked me for my services, she thought I willingly did it and asked whether I could shoot her 'in the same place' She's a Single Mom. FML

faphorror - 18/04/2016 20:49 - United States - Troy

Today, I was masturbating in my bed, when my dad walked in. I didn't know what to do, so I quickly pulled up my pants and blurted out "Hey dad, I've been thinking about you!" FML

yeeshmylifesucks - 18/04/2016 20:30 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I found out that both my mom and dad have chronic diseases and could die at any time, and they both have been very close to dying FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 20:29 - United States - Summerville

Today at school, I was chilling with my girlfriend and I was going in for a kiss. Usually when she is suprized like this, she spills a small secret. Turns out she was cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Piand how cow - 18/04/2016 20:20 - United States

Today, While having sex with my girlfriend she moaned out my best best friends name. After seeing my shocked expression she thought it would comfort me to tell me "don't worry you have a way bigger dick than he does"

Anon - 18/04/2016 20:16 - United States

Today, during gym, everybody exept for me was playing basket ball, because I have a fractored arm. My friends thought that it would be funny to "accidentally " peg a ball at me. I now have a broken arm and stiches on mr head.FML

killerparade - 18/04/2016 20:07 - United States - Taylorsville

Today, my boyfriend has convinced himself that I don't love him anymore and that I don't want to touch him all because I saw a picture of him and his ex and asked when it was taken. FML

Dank Memes - 18/04/2016 20:04 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? She said my memes weren't "dank" enough. FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:47 - United States - Daly City

Today, I accidentally sent my nudes to my friend's boyfriend instead of mine. Their names happen to be the same. She doesn't believe that it was an accident and won't talk to me and broke up with him. FML

David - 18/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I went to get McDonald's after a 8 hr shift at work. After ordering my food at the drive through, I forgot to pay at the first window and was sitting at the second one completely oblivious as the worker stared at me until I realized I didn't pay and sped off, completely embarrassed...FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:44 - United States - Escanaba

Today, I found out we've been putting the house on lock-down because my childhood friend is in jail for attempted murder. Why does this affect us, you ask? Because her raging alcoholic father lives right next to us, and he's an accomplice on the run from the police... again. FML

Jmdezy - 18/04/2016 19:41 - Switzerland

Today, while I was at Walmart shopping for a toy present for my niece, I found a toy that repeats what you say. I thought it would be funny to make it repeat "Hitler was right." right when a family walked into the aisle and looked at me in disgust. FML

anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while using the urinal at work, I didn't realize my dick was pointed as far down as it was and I accidentally pissed all over my pants....now I'm sitting in the stall waiting for them to dry 20 minutes over my break time, FML

annon - 18/04/2016 19:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was taken to jail after my girlfriends sister told the police I was holding her against her will. Her sister is crazy but after I was let go nothing happened to her at all. I thought this would be the final straw that would send her to jail and leave me in peace. FML

TotallyScrewed - 18/04/2016 18:59 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my crackhead brother pawned off an engagement ring I bought. The same engagement ring I was gonna propose to my girlfriend with at the fancy restaurant I've had reservations to for 6 months. FML

skittleturkey - 18/04/2016 18:41 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, while in US History, I meant to ask when Jimmy Carter was President. I accidentally asked, "When was Jimmy Carter pregnant?" FML

Milo - 18/04/2016 18:35 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I had to do a urine test at my doctor's office. As I flushed the toilet, the urine filled container fell off the top of the toilet paper holder into the high powered flush and disappeared. It had my name on it so I told reception. I couldn't pee again so I have to go back later. FML

fizro - 18/04/2016 18:33 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I mistook a dried piece of dog poo with grass on it for weed. I smoked dog shit. FML

KereKris - 18/04/2016 18:14 - Netherlands - Zwolle

Today, I got on the bus, paid for my ticket and then told the very attractive bus driver to "Have a good fuck". I wanted to say "Have a good morning" but I bit my tongue halfway trough and cursed because it hurt. FML

Anonymous - 18/04/2016 18:13 - Brazil - Alagoinhas

Today, our water got cut. Not cuz we didn't pay the bills, but cuz the water company keeps charging for a bill that was paid before we even rented this place, even though the landlady has complained several times to the company. FML

Luckybastarb - 18/04/2016 18:04 - Jordan - Amman

Today,i went on a hunting trip , the only thing that got shot was my leg. FML

Liddell - 18/04/2016 18:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had the pleasure to learn that two of my good friends are against any members of the LGBT+ community and one of them even support the death penalty for them. I am bisexual and I thought about telling them. Never mind for that. FML.

ImaSuckerV2 - 18/04/2016 17:56 - United States - Nashville

Today, I googled my name and found a gay porn star. FML.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

44 806

3 923

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

4 970

711

Today, I under-read the gas meter in an attempt to get a lower bill. Too bad it was the move-in read, meaning the starting point was way behind, causing a much higher bill. FML

133

1 554

Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML

1 846

559

Today, a man came into the library where I work with a bag. He told me the bag was full of bugs he found in and around his toilet, and demanded that I help identify them. He then added, "They might be parasites. They're all over the bathroom, but I got the toilet ones here." FML

5 150

305

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

48 979

15 905