Transportation

By flying_vegan - 06/12/2009 13:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 946

You deserved it 2 445

flying_vegan tells us more.

flying_vegan 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 10:04

This was in Hoxton, in London...

Crash

By horribledriver - 01/12/2009 22:48 - United States

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 971

You deserved it 71 839

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 423

You deserved it 6 028

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 119

You deserved it 2 688

Long road ahead

By coloradoman - 30/11/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, while I was flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a newborn puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice into my lap, then coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 601

You deserved it 3 123

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 3 194

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 424

You deserved it 26 416

By badDriver - 28/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 14 628

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 274

You deserved it 20 972

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 05:15 - Canada

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 351

You deserved it 46 580

By TinyDancer22 - 25/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 559

You deserved it 36 754

TinyDancer22 tells us more.

TinyDancer22 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 7:33

Yes I have a towel in my car. I bring my dog to the beach all the time and use towels to cover the seats.

By md. - 25/11/2009 04:08 - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 559

You deserved it 28 413

Blackout

By Nicholasand - 23/11/2009 18:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four-star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I'm a secondary school teacher and I've been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4 a.m. this morning and it's now 1 p.m. in the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 192

You deserved it 61 348

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 4 890

By trying2breathe - 22/11/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 3 042

All in the hood

By FoundMyLighter - 21/11/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll, towards a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 856

You deserved it 8 858

By Ellen - 21/11/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 279

You deserved it 30 428

Bad day

By hopefulanonymous - 20/11/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 152

You deserved it 35 134

Priorities

By Earths_Venus - 19/11/2009 22:31 - Australia

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it - and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 807

You deserved it 35 764

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 082

You deserved it 3 164

By ggbhghggg - 18/11/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 687

You deserved it 42 633

Noooooooo!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 01:08 - United States

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching when a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, and the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 718

You deserved it 7 607

Confuddled

By Spiller - 17/11/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 364

You deserved it 29 133

Insurance is a racket

By Chriso - 17/11/2009 11:48 - Australia

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 467

You deserved it 3 969

By HunniBeeHuni - 17/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 373

You deserved it 27 970

By stupidoldcar - 16/11/2009 02:59 - United States

Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 294

You deserved it 4 412

Who did you piss off?

By Smashed - 15/11/2009 23:16 - United States

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 2 618

By John - 15/11/2009 06:08 - Australia

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 505

You deserved it 6 273

Street art

By squidwardpotatoes - 14/11/2009 11:08 - United States

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from SpongeBob, with large letters spelling, "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 3 266

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Keywords

Transportation Cars Love Money LGBTQIA+ Awkward My ex Miscellaneous Weird Cooking Gross AITA Bodyshaming Sex Health Poopoo peepee Family Vacation Intimacy Relatable Kids Death Mother in law I need your advice Break-ups Embarrassing Food Teachers School Clumsy

The Top

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 593

You deserved it 6 000

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 529

You deserved it 20 740

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 3 736

Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 983

Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 262

Today, I come home from work to my bedroom to find all my husband’s stuff gone. There was a note in the dresser, with his wedding band, that read, “I hope you can take a hint. Sorry.” Not only was I dumped, and I can’t locate him anywhere, but I now have to cover his part of the mortgage which I can’t afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 229