Transportation

Classic

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 718

You deserved it 66 348

Hog on hog action

By auscop - 17/09/2009 10:57 - Australia

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 683

You deserved it 86 060

By civic4life - 17/09/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 645

You deserved it 55 677

Bad driving

By Jennnn - 16/09/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear-ended them, and then I got rear-ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 820

You deserved it 57 355

Grinding

By takingthebus - 16/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 6 556

By CWoah - 14/09/2009 15:17 - Canada

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 042

You deserved it 69 992

Shady parking

By superjstorm - 13/09/2009 14:00 - Philippines

Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I'd parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 9 701

By sucksforme - 12/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 612

You deserved it 3 538

By SlowLane - 11/09/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, I got 4 "photo enforced" speeding tickets in the mail. It was from the car that was stolen from me three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 347

You deserved it 2 842

By hatecolin - 10/09/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 837

You deserved it 12 980

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 918

You deserved it 3 172

Help!

By ritz - 10/09/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 585

You deserved it 56 273

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 820

You deserved it 2 311

Licence to drive

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:19 - Australia

Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 605

You deserved it 37 960

Pay up!

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 478

You deserved it 5 144

By effmylife - 06/09/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonald's, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonald's. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 204

You deserved it 3 680

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 495

You deserved it 12 806

By joeshmoe - 05/09/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 49 700

By JerseyGirl - 04/09/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 002

You deserved it 2 873

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 005

You deserved it 5 670

By FenderBender - 03/09/2009 04:54 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 43 625

By ooops - 03/09/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 949

You deserved it 43 296

By broken - 02/09/2009 09:45 - Australia

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 418

You deserved it 10 246

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 582

You deserved it 69 681

By polish_chik - 01/09/2009 04:00 - Canada

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 315

You deserved it 38 847

So sorry

By Karen - 31/08/2009 14:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 4 835

By soaked - 31/08/2009 13:05 - United States

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 499

You deserved it 2 746

Safety first

By phlyingphuck - 31/08/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 669

You deserved it 7 921

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 064

You deserved it 2 722

Never forget

By mariokarter - 28/08/2009 04:41 - United Kingdom

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mario Kart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!" Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 673

You deserved it 7 012

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 059

You deserved it 676

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 168

You deserved it 7 736

Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 037

You deserved it 9 763

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 195

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 398

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 627