Health

lol the mashed potatoes I had were kind of chunky, and so after I threw up, there were still bits of it left in my nose. I had to blow my nose to get them out, and so I blew chunks of taters out my nose into the tissue. my mom almost fainted. :)

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:17 - Australia

Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after two years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 599

You deserved it 27 971

Monster Munch

By Stupid_Chick - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 19 561

Now you tell me!

By Anonymous - 01/12/2017 01:30

Today, after a year of diet and rigorous exercise, I've still gained weight. Confused, I went to my doctor. Apparently I have a thyroid condition he forgot to mention, and therefore haven't been on medication for, thus causing weight gain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 952

You deserved it 265

Alexa, play "This is a Low" by Blur

By IHaveThePower - 17/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, the month-long muscle spasms that have been shoving my hips out of joint went to a new low. My whole body feels like I have the flu, with muscle aches and tension. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome does not mix well with PMDD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 106

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 452

You deserved it 983

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 5 755

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 834

You deserved it 2 711

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 098

You deserved it 7 873

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 336

You deserved it 5 929

Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 365