Health

I'm the only person on the second floor. We have HIGHLY explosive chemicals in the labs on the first floor. I'd rather have a broken leg than blow up and die.

By EastOneTen - 06/10/2012 07:28 - United States

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 338

You deserved it 3 540

City boy

By Where? - 23/08/2023 08:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 865

Pale AF

By Kathleen Verhaegen - 05/03/2020 21:00

Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 242

By BoBandy - 15/08/2018 14:30

Today, I finally went to the hospital for a week-long migraine. A few Saturdays ago I went to the park to play frisbee with my friends and coworkers. While climbing a fence, I fell and hit my head twice. Turns out I have a severe concussion and a swollen brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 708

You deserved it 908

Lucid

By Man Shamed - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 730

You deserved it 1 273

Trance

By carly rose - 26/05/2023 15:00

Today, I was yelled at and beaten up for staring at a woman’s breasts. My medication causes me to stare off into space and I didn’t even realize I was staring at another person until it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 195

Nearly Spring

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 13:59

Today, I only open my curtains in the morning so my plants won’t die. Me, I leave in the dark and return in the dark. The only time I see the sun in winter is during lunch breaks and weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 226

Hang tight

By just hangin - 17/01/2017 12:00

Today, as I was pulling wire for an addition to my boss's house, I was on a ladder drilling a hole when my coworker kicked the ladder out from under me and left me hanging from a rafter twenty feet in the air. To make matters worse, I had to pee. I'm now in my car with dead arms and wet pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 973

You deserved it 531

A bit early for all that

By Anonymous - 09/04/2017 20:00

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 591

You deserved it 1 435

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 20:30

Today, after 3 days of hearing a car alarm going off almost continuously, the city finally came and towed it. Immediately after, the owner showed up with a switchblade, inquiring who called the city. My neighbors ratted me out, despite the fact I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 182

Red flag

By WalkingOnEggshells - 25/12/2024 21:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the man I've liked for so long asked me out on a date. Three years ago I fell for him and he denied me unless I "lost 100lbs” Now I've lost about 85lbs (not because of him, but for myself) and he wants to give me the time of day. I still like him, but I feel like I have to watch my weight to keep him if I say “Yes.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 535

Overcome

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to dress up as the school mascot for a big game. The costume was incredibly hot, and I ended up fainting on the field. When I came to, I was surrounded by worried kids and my head was in the lap of the opposing team's mascot, who was trying to give me CPR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 102

Strong Kurt Cobain vibes

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I've done everything I wanted to do in life. I'm currently 27. Bored out of my fucking mind. Just call me bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 791

By calamity janet - 14/11/2018 22:00

Today, my husband took me to an airsoft shop so he could try a new pistol. We went on the range to shoot it, but while he was loading it went off and shot me. I was only wearing my leggings, so I felt the full power of that BB as it traveled at 200 feet per second at my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 001

You deserved it 510

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 841

You deserved it 3 076

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 9 515

Controlling

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Stevenson

Today, my mom took my phone away because of a huge mistake I made, which we need to go to court for. I own the actual phone but they pay for the line. I'm autistic with severe anxiety. I'm also 34 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 671

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 19:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 141

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 640

You deserved it 3 640

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Health Dentist Parenting Kids Cars Transportation Stalker Creepy Parents Coworkers Love Miscellaneous Clothes Laundry Embarrassing Surgery Hospital I need your advice Relatable Cheating LGBTQIA+ Pregnancy Empathy Funerals First Dates Camping Sex Intimacy Awkward

The Top

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 541

You deserved it 3 238

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 51 206

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 16 407

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 3 663

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 289

Today, I went to a political debate, and now I'm more confused than when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 262