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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Fight

    Sorry, I…

    By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

    Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 883
    You deserved it 41 913
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    Cassius

    By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

    Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 484
    You deserved it 9 482
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    Relatable Fire Work Animals Dogs Kids Social Media Vacation Family Parents Ironic Miscellaneous Cute Fight Weird Toys Health Relationships Medication Gross Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Funerals My ex I need your advice Love Harassment Intimacy Sex Friends
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    Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 100 360
    You deserved it 9 109
    Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 116 185
    You deserved it 5 099
    Today, I dumped my boyfriend. To celebrate being newly single, I wanted to watch some shows on Netflix. My now ex-boyfriend had already changed the password. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 307
    You deserved it 10 735
    Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 296
    You deserved it 338
    Today, I found out my last roommate had been stacking her empty wine bottles under the sink for the last 5 months. The cleaning lady who found them now thinks I'm an alcoholic, and threatened to report me to my landlord. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 774
    You deserved it 231
    Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 969
    You deserved it 304
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