Cars

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 409

You deserved it 41 200

****** around, found out

By jbthedude - 05/08/2011 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 4 590

By whatnot - 04/08/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 668

You deserved it 3 277

Oh, look…

By cocokiss410 - 28/07/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 2 734

By Stacy Dee - 20/07/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 4 510

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 12 694

By Username - 08/07/2011 20:02 - United States

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 236

You deserved it 3 616

Called out but accurate

By brittbrat4 - 05/07/2011 00:25 - United States

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 696

You deserved it 6 388

Glassed

By Rick - 01/07/2011 08:31 - United States

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 2 508

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 090

You deserved it 5 765

Stuck

By muddygal - 25/06/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 276

You deserved it 3 827

Push!

By sabadaba - 19/06/2011 17:51 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 938

You deserved it 3 318

Brain fart

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 853

You deserved it 61 101

By Username - 06/06/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 3 570

Just a prank, bro

By iscreamforicecream - 01/06/2011 11:53 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 474

You deserved it 5 757

Where am I?

By 2ndplacechamp - 01/06/2011 05:43 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 9 478

Community policing

By phant776 - 13/05/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 471

You deserved it 9 323

Bake off

By sadman - 07/05/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 11 789

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 242

You deserved it 2 808

Useless

By markyvilla - 15/04/2011 01:09 - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 881

You deserved it 6 012

Mad Maxine

By faza4327 - 06/04/2011 07:43 - Australia

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 502

You deserved it 3 556

Quite the gamble

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 4 442

Triple A

By chi_chia - 24/03/2011 15:03 - United States

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 4 945

By cupcakelady127 - 23/03/2011 11:25 - United States

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said, "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 300

You deserved it 17 191

Broke ass dad

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 107

You deserved it 2 978

By roadkill - 28/02/2011 15:50 - United States

Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 312

You deserved it 2 832

By FlatTire - 13/02/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 19 512

Targeted

By vikingunicorn - 03/02/2011 12:52 - Canada

Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 222

You deserved it 3 493

Marooned

By fmljae - 20/01/2011 09:11

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 866

You deserved it 30 990

Panic!

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:29 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 122

You deserved it 32 264

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 289

You deserved it 21 766

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 083

You deserved it 2 430

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 762

You deserved it 4 121

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 906

You deserved it 8 332

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 049

You deserved it 7 813

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 170