Cars

Beep beep!

By halfmypaycheckgone - 05/02/2013 18:59 - United States - Monroe

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 027

You deserved it 4 225

Groundhog Day

By Steve - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 784

You deserved it 11 932

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 00:01

Today, after a year of living with my girlfriend, I came to the conclusion that I'm never going to marry her. I packed my things, wished her well in her life, and loaded everything up into my car. It's been working fine up until this afternoon. Now it won't start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 795

Road rage

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 14:30

Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 118

Didn't see ya there

By mbrooke - 23/03/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 189

You deserved it 102 592

Pumped

By Rita - 11/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas at the gas station, two men pulled up to my car, opened the passenger door, grabbed my handbag and sped off. The $2000 handbag that my husband worked pretty much all last year for to gift me for Christmas, my wallet, and my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 251

Road rage

By Broke - 28/05/2012 09:38 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 137

You deserved it 3 419

Gullible's travels

By Rebecca197 - 21/09/2022 13:30

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 2 730

Promises, promises

By IHateMyLife - 06/04/2021 00:30

Today, my boyfriend promised me to cook dinner if I picked him up from work, almost 100 km and 2-hour drive. I did this even though I worked the night shift yesterday and had to today and normally have to sleep a lot. But no, after we got home, he fell asleep and was still sleeping and snoring when I had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 01:33 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 152

You deserved it 31 238

Simple pleasures

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 06:00 - United States - Rowlett

Today, I just found out that my local drag strip, where the best races in my area were held, is being shut down to build a truck stop. It was sold out of nowhere, with no warning. It was the one thing that I actually looked forward to every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 207

The Soprano

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 791

You deserved it 12 257

Baby you can drive my car

By yeah - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Eugene

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 2 018

Nerves of steel

By EdibleCape - 28/05/2020 23:00

Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home, my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 338

Choking over here

By JD. - 13/04/2021 00:30

Today, I made the horrible mistake of leaving my car windows cracked while at work. Not only is the exterior yellow due to the pollen, but so is the interior. I'm not allergic, but you can feel the pollen in the back of your throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 293

End of the road

By CANTTAKEMORE - 26/04/2016 22:24 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 426

You deserved it 2 983

Ticket to ride

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 04/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 85

Oh lawd, he comin'

By logkitty - 10/04/2012 04:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 606

You deserved it 12 869

Charity

By fail - 26/04/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 769

You deserved it 11 474

Move!

By Kevin - 29/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 669

Why dude?

By yessir - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 625

You deserved it 28 654

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 138

Hassle free

By Lana - 26/04/2022 22:00

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 141

Unwelcome home

By Bee Quarantine - 10/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, there is a wasp nest right next to my front door. To exit the house safely, I have to use the back door and carefully sneak over to the car. Alternatively, I can just walk everywhere. Or I can become a shut-in, but I don't think I'd last long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 175

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 396

You deserved it 8 742

Heist

By Bobo - 11/10/2022 10:00

Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 103

Useless

By markyvilla - 15/04/2011 01:09 - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 882

You deserved it 6 012

This ol' truck

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 23:49 - United States

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door, and the keys were in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 152

You deserved it 38 658

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 327

Not the brightest moggy

By Ouch - 09/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 123

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The Top

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 919

You deserved it 2 484

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 6 527

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 053

You deserved it 17 215

Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 045

You deserved it 6 311

Today, I was at my friend's house for the first time in months. I saw her new Chihuahua, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit… straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 213

You deserved it 34 158

Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved out and left a huge mess. I found her wearable vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 310