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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 299
    You deserved it 7 303
    Share  

    Rekt

    By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

    Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88 397
    You deserved it 6 178
    Share  

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 966
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Smartphone Money Thief Transportation Relatable Argument Love Mental health Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky Family Christmas Kids Cats Animals Coffee Cute Clumsy Health Dogs Break-ups Coworkers Singing Work Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 329
    You deserved it 5 954
    Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 201
    You deserved it 512
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 47 463
    You deserved it 4 714
    Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 51 586
    You deserved it 4 593
    Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 046
    You deserved it 62 167
    Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 425
    You deserved it 52
    Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 488
    You deserved it 2 400
    Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 233
    You deserved it 252
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