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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 964
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Relatable Dogs Delivery Wake up Work Food Language Cooking Annoying Bikes Transportation Embarrassing Technology NSFW Sex Intimacy Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Kids Cats Animals Gross Video games Gamers Divorce Music Cars Growing old
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 757
    You deserved it 3 567
    Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 837
    You deserved it 5 366
    Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 644
    You deserved it 1 603
    Today, my girlfriend has cats that live in my garage because I'm so horribly allergic to them. She went in the garage a while ago with power tools to do something simple. There has been a fair bit of noise and commotion in there. Part of me is happy that my girlfriend is trying to be handy, but I'm mostly worried about what could be going on. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 633
    You deserved it 306
    Today, I was hit up to "Netflix and chill" by a guy I hang out with, so I dressed up real nice and went over. Unfortunately, the "Netflix" was actually watching Joe Rogan, and the "chill" was smiling politely whenever he would say, "He's right, you know?" and figuring out how and when to go home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 477
    You deserved it 160
    Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 100
    You deserved it 1 643
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