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    : 320



    Basic night out

    Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

    Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
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    Intruder alert!

    Pain - 06/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML
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    Landscaping

    Anonymous - 17/02/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML
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    Sunday funday

    Anonymous - 02/03/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML
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    Miscommunication

    Leighton on C - 03/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was texting my crush and I wanted to send him a cute emoji to show I was thinking of him. Instead of sending the "heart eyes" emoji, I hit the "poop" emoji. The worst part? He responded with, "Yeah, I'm a piece of shit, thanks for reminding me." FML
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    Hash it out

    Anonymous - 10/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

    Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML
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    Mystery

    Gary - 14/03/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

    Today, I was pulled into an office by the head of my college department. I was told that I was “making someone uncomfortable” but refused to elaborate on who it was, or what I’d done wrong. How am I supposed to fix a problem if I don’t know what the problem is? FML
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    Waste of time

    Anonymous - 23/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Belton

    Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
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    Eavesdropping ain't a good idea

    Sorry we can't all be 5'10", Katie - 26/03/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, I overheard my boyfriend's future sister-in-law ask him not to bring me to the wedding. Apparently, me being so much shorter than everyone else is "embarrassing" and "would make the pictures look weird." FML
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    One-upped

    Anonymous - 28/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - King City

    Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML
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    So, the thing is…

    Hailee - 30/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Miami

    Today, I woke up to dozens of messages from friends and family, all asking about a video of me saying something awful. It wasn’t me. It was AI. But try explaining that to my grandma. FML
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    Where is my mind?

    Anonymous - 01/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Dallas

    Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML
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    Bathroom breakdown

    Anonymous - 10/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
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    Winky

    XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 21:00 - Romania

    Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML
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    RIP Buddy

    Anonymous - 22/04/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, I held my 14 year-old dog as he passed away. He made me a better person and I spent more time with him and loved him more than 99% of the population. I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow when I dig his grave, and know he's not with me anymore. FML
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    This is not a drill

    Anonymous - 26/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, my office building had a surprise fire drill. As I rushed to exit, I realized that I’d put on a shirt that was way too tight. It felt like it was practically cutting off my circulation, and I couldn’t breathe too well. I tried to suck in my stomach but almost passed out in the process. I spent the rest of the drill struggling with my shirt while people gave me weird looks. FML
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    Making the scene

    billie - 29/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

    Today, I had my first day in an acting class. Our assignment was to perform a dramatic monologue. I got super into it, threw myself into character, and dramatically fell to my knees to deliver a line. Unfortunately, my knees slipped, and I faceplanted into the floor in front of the entire class. FML
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    Close proximity

    Anonymous - 01/05/2025 09:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

    Today, I am appalled that my neighbor was fired from his job. Not because I pity him, but because now he will not only light his stinking grill under my living room window every single night, but also play his radio outside all day long. Also right under my window. His garden is HUGE by the way. FML
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    Freak out

    ??? - 03/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Denver

    Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML
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    Flimsy excuse

    Anonymous - 04/05/2025 22:00 - Czechia - Prague

    Today, my fiancee broke up with me, all because I told her I couldn't install a home security system, fix a camera, and entertain her son in the hour before I went to work. FML
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    A tad jealous

    Anonymous - 08/05/2025 18:00 - China - Changsha

    Today, after my ex dumped me on November 18, 2024, after 11 years of friendship and just 6 months dating, spreading rumors and ruining my reputation, we’re now in the same class again. The worst part? She’s already chasing another motherfucker who looks like her old crush, right in front of me. Disgusting. FML
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    Hobbit feet

    Anonymous - 11/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
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    The old you, the new me

    Sad and lonely - 13/05/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

    Today, I spent the day with my ex-husband, getting our house ready for market. We've been doing this for weeks, and to my shock, my ex has turned back into the hard-working, handy, patient man I fell in love with. I don't know what to say or do, so I spend every day quietly heartsick with longing. FML
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    Game on

    Anonymous - 15/05/2025 23:00 - Australia

    Today, myself and three friends went to a games night and we had to come up with a team name. Since I’m black and they’re all white, they insisted on “Interracial”. FML
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    Rough week

    Dee-Nice - 17/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Phoenix

    Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML
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    Main character syndrome

    Ross - 21/05/2025 00:00 - Slovakia - Bratislava

    Today, my friend told me to move on from having feelings for her, despite me accepting that we were only friends several months ago. FML
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    Mean boy

    Anonymous - 22/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

    Today, ever since I had to rehome my cat because he was really mean, I've been wanting to get another one to replace him. I remembered a particular cat I found at the adoption center who seemed to like me a lot, and I decided I wanted to adopt her. When I got there, I found out she unexpectedly died yesterday. FML
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    Rough evening for introverts

    Chris - 24/05/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, at a dinner party, I got locked in the host’s toilet because the doorknob broke. I had to text the host to rescue me. She opened the door… with 5 other guests standing behind her. My social battery was wiped out by the whole ordeal, so I immediately wanted to go home and hide, but instead I got drunk and passed out on her couch. FML
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    You're not supposed to eat it

    Anonymous - 26/05/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I used sunscreen on my face. Said sunscreen was expired and I had an allergic reaction. FML
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    Bloody Janet

    Not Janet - 28/05/2025 03:00 - Australia - Melbourne

    Today, I was on a Zoom call with my mic muted. Or so I thought. After about a minute, I started ranting about how Janet always gets credit for my work. Janet was in the meeting. So was my boss. None of them was receptive to my criticism. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
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    Today, I interviewed for my dream job. Everything was going great until the interviewer asked, "So, what's your least favorite race?" FML
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    Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML
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    Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML
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    Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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