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    : 320



    Confuddled

    Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML
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    Make it make sense

    Anonymous - 27/11/2025 15:00

    Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML
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    Silver linings, eh?

    Take Me With You - 29/11/2025 09:00

    Today, I found my sister online after over a year of no contact. Our other sister framed her, getting our parents to kick out and disown her. Her childhood sweetheart and his mom took her in, and is now living a life of luxury with them abroad, while we live off government checks, which BARELY cover bare basics. FML
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    Mixology

    Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML
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    Keeping up appearances

    JaneSimple - 02/12/2025 22:00

    Today, just like every other celebratory day (like my anniversary or birthday) I ordered my own Christmas present. My husband doesn't get it. I tried to explain. He openly admits he has no idea what I like and has no interest in learning, but wants me to have something to open so he won't look bad. FML
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    I ate being proved right

    Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
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    Vindictive self report

    Anonymous - 10/12/2025 00:00

    Today, it's been a few months since I spent about three weeks in a relationship with a woman at work, who then left me to get back with her ex-husband. For some reason she reported us both to HR for our inappropriate relationship. My future at this company now rests on a meeting I have this afternoon with HR. FML
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    Bull

    Bull no more - 11/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I'm the "bull" of a cuckolding relationship. Well, not anymore: I got the usual "come over" text and went over, only for the husband to come after me with a crowbar, yelling that his wife treats him like dirt because of me. FML
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    Moving on

    Mourning Myrtle - 13/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML
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    PERVERTS!

    - 15/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I tackled and punched some pervert for taking up-skirt photos of a teen girl in a store. I’m now being threatened with a lawsuit because the “teen” was actually the guy's very young looking wife and they were doing some kinky role play in public. FML
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    Ten pages?

    Anonymous - 17/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I emailed my resume to a recruiter but attached a ten-page stream-of-consciousness grocery list instead. The recruiter replied, “Interesting priorities.” Now I’m on a three-email chain where everyone is debating whether olives belong in banana bread and asking about my sandwich preferences. FML
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    Bonus

    Anonymous - 18/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I finally got a bonus virtual gift card in my email that was thrown in for buying a new mattress. Except I've never used a virtual gift card before, I only have the vaguest idea as to how to use it. I actually googled how to use it because I was so clueless. FML
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    Good deed of the day

    Anonymous - 20/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my distant relatives found out that I had turned down an inheritance from my long estranged father. I didn't feel it was right so I asked the lawyer to make it a donation to WFP. Relatives I'd never met and some I didn't even know about are now all over my socials about how I "insulted the memory" of their uncle. FML
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    Disrespect

    - 24/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML
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    Beep beep

    Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML
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    Bad start, bad end

    Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
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    It's not just men

    WTF - 05/01/2026 15:00

    Today, as we were discussing our plans for 2026, I suggested we go vegan as it's healthier and better for the planet. My husband said, "Ask me to go vegan again and I'll have divorce papers for you the next day." Why? Why are men so adamantly opposed to veganism? FML
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    Moving on fast

    Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML
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    Technologically challenged

    Anonymous - 14/01/2026 12:00

    Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML
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    A cute one for a change

    We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

    Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
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    Fair is fair

    Loss - 21/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML
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    You do it

    Anonymous - 23/01/2026 09:00

    Today, I’m a supervisor who swore 50-hour weeks were “the minimum.” My team preferred having lives, I missed my quota, and my $10,000 bonus vanished. FML
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    Chilling

    Anonymous - 25/01/2026 03:00

    Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML
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    Self own

    Anonymous - 30/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

    Today, thinking I was pretty healthy, I signed up for a 5K run. I didn’t train at all, thinking, “How hard can it be?” Halfway through, I realized I was in way over my head. I ended up walking the rest of the race, and a 70-year-old man lapped me twice. To make it worse, my friends made a banner that said, “Congratulations on Not Dying!” FML
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    When in doubt, blame everything on "woke"

    Anonymous - 01/02/2025 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, I walked into work, only to be greeted by the office asshole saying, “Whoa! You’re still here?! I thought for sure when Trump ended that DEI crap they wouldn’t let you keep your job. Welcome back I guess.” Can we say HR MEETING?! FML
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    Basic night out

    Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

    Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
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    Intruder alert!

    Pain - 06/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML
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    Landscaping

    Anonymous - 17/02/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML
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    Sunday funday

    Anonymous - 02/03/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML
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    Miscommunication

    Leighton on C - 03/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was texting my crush and I wanted to send him a cute emoji to show I was thinking of him. Instead of sending the "heart eyes" emoji, I hit the "poop" emoji. The worst part? He responded with, "Yeah, I'm a piece of shit, thanks for reminding me." FML
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    Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
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    Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML
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    Today, after a lot of effort put into it and finally getting a scholarship, they emailed me saying they can't afford to fund me because they were impacted by the pandemic. I'd already denied other scholarship offers because theirs was the best offer. FML
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    Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML
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    Today, I finally got a package for some pieces that my model kit was missing after I had contacted customer services about the problem. The package was still missing a piece. FML
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    Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
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