Your everyday life stories

crossingtheline - 15/04/2016 02:31 - United States

Today, I have fully committed to moving four hours away with my boyfriend. My last day at my job is next week and we're moving after that. We're both getting promotions we can't pass up. Today I found out he is probably cheating on me with some slut from work. I love him too much to leave. FML.

tabi11200309 - 15/04/2016 02:27 - United States - Nashville

Today, my husband refuses to sleep with me after the incident from the night before. I'm 8 months pregnant and woke up after I apparently peed my myself in bed. FML

pissedoff - 15/04/2016 02:23 - United States - Bronx

Today, someone in my homeroom thought it would be a good idea to hide my lunch as a joke and cram it in my binder. My homework, and about 85% of my looseleaf and study sheets, are now soggy and fully unusable. Thanks for the 17% decrease in my grades in ONE day. FML

SDJM666 - 15/04/2016 02:19 - United States - La Vergne

Today, I confessed to a close friend that I had been thinking of suicide and that I've been self harming. Her response? To tell everyone at school. FML

i hate being poor - 15/04/2016 02:19 - United States - King George

Today, I am filling in my 12th scholarship application out of the 15 that my mom insists I need to apply for. She insists I need to apply for them, even though she knows I've already been given a full ride from my first choice school. FML

Im20ThisIsShit - 15/04/2016 02:14 - United States - Columbus

Today, I'm getting ready to move back home from the summer. Goodbye college freedom, hello 10:00pm curfew. FML.

BuzzingTheNews - 15/04/2016 02:14 - United States - Flint

Today, I discovered for the first time what it feels like to get stung by a bee. Inside of your ear. I also discovered I have a bee allergy. FML

Granios - 15/04/2016 01:58 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, after days of trying to resolve a problem with my grades being wrong I finally got it fixed. I then had all A's, and was proud of myself. Then I had a suprise pretest (A test you take before you learn about something) that brought me down to a C in one class. FML

This, that, and, what? - 15/04/2016 01:50 - United States - Wyoming

Today, I got a bad grade on a paper I wrote. When I asked my teacher why it was so bad he said it was because I didn't use an Oxford Comma. This coming from the man who said we shouldn't use it. FML

Yatagurusu - 15/04/2016 01:14 - United Kingdom - Rochester

Today, I was sitting with my crush, when the subject of Minecraft porn came up, she didn't believe me when I said I didn't watch it or any porn. She also didn't believe everyone else on the table who said they had watched it 'for the lols. Now she thinks I'm a freaky gamer guy. FML

GingerSnap98 - 15/04/2016 01:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wore too tight of pants that gave me a good looking butt to try to impress my boyfriend. Turns out, if you wear tight pants for a long time it eventually can cause you to have diarrhea and almost shit your pants. Real impressive. FML

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:58 - Japan

Today, my long distance fiancé who I rarely see flew from the Netherlands to Japan to visit. An hour after his landing, my period started. FML.

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:53 - United States - Athens

I called my girlfriend from my friends phone because I had left mine at home. I dial her number and say "hey babe". Before I could say anything she says "hey baby you calling about my ad?" FML

crownedcrazy - 15/04/2016 00:49 - United States - Little Neck

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try some pants a size smaller than what I usually wear because I've lost some weight recently and my pants have gotten baggy on me. She screamed at me saying I can't try them because I haven't lost any weight and I'm still a fatass. FML

deafdude - 15/04/2016 00:44 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my girlfriend of 4 month broke up with me because I'm "not a good listener" I'm deaf. She never even tried to learn ASL. FML.

RadXFalloutNV - 15/04/2016 00:36 - United States

Today, I took my license test. Everything was going fine until at the very end of the test, parking back into the DMV parking lot I tapped the fence. Counts as an accident so I fail. FML

whyyyyymejesus - 15/04/2016 00:32

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for actively being a hoe and flirting with other girls. One hour after we broke up, he started dating my stepsister. FML

BalloonAnimals - 15/04/2016 00:24 - United States - Land O Lakes

Last night I set my alarm at 6:00 am so I could get ready for work because I was already late before a few times. I woke up at 7:43. My alarm was set for 6:00 pm and I was fired. FML.

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:20 - United States - Murray

Today, I got a phone call from a college I applied to while taking the school bus home. The bus driver told me to get off the phone but since it was important, I didn't and am now suspended from school. FML

Owen - 15/04/2016 00:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to my friend's house who lives with his grandma. We were watching tv and forgot about his grandma. I knocked over a coke with my elbow, spilling it on my balls and let out some cuss words. His grandma comes in and literally pulls down my PANTS and starts SPANKING me HARD. FML

That_Teenager_ - 15/04/2016 00:12 - United States - Hampshire

Today, my brother, whom I've had no contact with for a while, texted me for the first time this year. It was a picture of his dick. FML

littlekellilee - 15/04/2016 00:12 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, I realized the extent of my fear of talking to new people when I accidentally opened Siri for the first time and got a full blown panic attack while trying to figure out how to respond to her offer for help. FML

hurt - 14/04/2016 23:47 - United States - Boise

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She took one look at me and told him he should leave me because I am "too skinny and lack proper birthing hips." I am recovering from bulimia and she knows it. FML

SuccessfulFailure - 14/04/2016 23:40 - United States - Haymarket

Today, I finished working on the complex and intricately-designed puzzle cube I've been working on for six months. When I went to put it together, I realized I forgot how to solve it. It turns out, several of the puzzle pieces aren't correctly made, and I now have to remake the entire puzzle. FML

rockbottom - 14/04/2016 23:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two year old and I became homeless. FML

connedagain - 14/04/2016 23:32 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I found myself debating whether I'm more disappointed in myself for trusting my brother and assuming something he'd sell me is in working order, or more disappointed in him for taking £150 then watch me spend another £100 on games for the console and not say a word about it. FML.

hahaokok - 14/04/2016 23:31 - United States - Watertown

Today, I came home from a year long deployment only to find my wife five months pregnant. Now I'm not a mathematician, but I figured that one out, FML.

i-do-exist - 14/04/2016 23:29 - United States - Norristown

Today, I was all prepared to come out to my mom as bisexual. Today is also the day I found out that my mom doesn't think that bisexuality exists and bi people are just "gay people who are more open-minded". Not how it works, Mom. FML

paintball_guy - 14/04/2016 23:16 - United States - Whittier

Today, as i entered school, the security guard told me that my shirt violated dress code and I could not enter with out changing. With no ride home, I had no choice but to take a two hour walk home to change, then walk all the way back to school. FML

ProtoBird - 14/04/2016 23:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I finally got moved in to my new house. The last owner had three large dogs, but apparently no intention to clean up the yard one last time before leaving. Or a first time, by the look of it. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

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Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

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Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early birthday present. With straight faces, they looked at me and said: "We signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it'll take a year. FML

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Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

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Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

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Today, over half of my coworkers have called out for various reasons and my manager is on her third week of vacation. My coworkers keep calling out. I'm the only closer. I just want a day off. FML

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