Your everyday life stories

BigJ_76 - 14/04/2016 00:37 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, a girl in my class took my phone and put a selfie up on my snapchat story. My girlfriend saw the story and now won't speak or listen to me FML.

redey2816 - 14/04/2016 00:32 - United States - Aurora

Today, my lamp light bulb went out. This would not be a problem, but it burst while I was working. Glass went everywhere. FML.

sexhole - 14/04/2016 00:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to a party where people have anonymous sex in the closet. I have officially lost my virginity to my younger sister. I'm 19. She's 12. FML

Vikstera - 14/04/2016 00:07 - United States - Greensboro

Today, my man was going to town on me. I was about to finally orgasm, until my cat jumped out from under the bed and attacked my boyfriend's toe and destroyed the entire mood. fml.

broke - 14/04/2016 00:07 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, in the twenty minutes I was away from it (having left it it my work changing room) someone went into my backpack, searched for my wallet, and took all my cash. There were no cameras. I'm out over $100. FML

Anonymous - 13/04/2016 23:48 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, being so sleep deprived from working graveyard and having a baby I accidentally put the baby's formula in my coffee instead of milk FML

lonelyloser3 - 13/04/2016 23:29 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I actually googled how to make friends. FML.

anti travel - 13/04/2016 23:25 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I found out via social media that my boyfriend will be doing a lot of traveling. He couldn't tell me but could update a status. FML

hottytodday - 13/04/2016 23:19 - United States - Oxford

Today, while having sex with a really cute girl, her sister showed up. her sister so happens to be my wife. FML

DragonSlayer1234 - 13/04/2016 23:04 - United States - Beaumont

Today, as I was about to propose to my girlfriend, her psycho ex-boyfriend showed up, stole the ring, and said "this is what you get from leaving me bitch". She is so mad she dumped me. FML

meekasaurous - 13/04/2016 23:03 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I got up to let my dog inside. My grandpa came out of his room stark naked at the same time, FML.

farmergirl420 - 13/04/2016 22:53 - United States - Clemmons

Today, after a fight, my husband said he no longer wanted to try for another child. Once he calmed down, I brought it back up to discuss and he refuses to change his mind. I just found out I'm pregnant. FML.

Anonymous - 13/04/2016 22:31 - United States - Collegeville

Today, my mom nicely packed me a bag of minimuffins for a dance practice snack. Too bad I didn't notice the tiny hole gnawed by a rodent and the missing half of one muffin until I had hungrily scarfed all the muffins down-including the one the squeaker ate half of. My mother fed me rat food. FML.

Anonymous - 13/04/2016 22:23 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I had a job interview. I did not see the manager anywhere. I asked an employee where should I go for the interview, they said they will get the manager asap. 20 minutes later, the manager comes out and tells me I am disqualified from the job because I am late. I arrived 10 minutes early. fml

moonmonkey400 - 13/04/2016 21:44 - United States - Columbia

Today, my friends found out that I am Italian in a group chat, now they will not stop bothering me with racist Italian jokes, horrible Italian accents, and they think that every day I should be eating spaghetti. FML

mikki_arlert - 13/04/2016 21:41 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my art teacher told me she accidentally dropped my art work, which I had painted on a mirror. She then yelled at me for painting it on a mirror in the first place. FML

wtfcupid - 13/04/2016 21:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my car, credit cards, money, phone and my gps. She used the home setting to find my house and steal my dog. FML.

relatableyoongi - 13/04/2016 21:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I looked at the date and realised my new boyfriend hasn't spoken to me in over a week. The last time I saw him was when I gave him a blowjob for the first time. I definitely got used. FML

flowersbloom - 13/04/2016 21:26 - United States - Savannah

Today, I went to get a bagel. On my way out I noticed two employees trying to get something out of the toaster. It was a dead roach. I had already finished my toasted bagel. FML

pissedoff - 13/04/2016 21:02 - United States

Today, after a late night out drinking, I was awoken by my friends cat pissing on my leg. As if the hangover wasn't bad enough, I then had to deal with the hot stink on my leg for 30 minutes while I drove home. Neither the cat or my friend apologized. FML

Anonymous - 13/04/2016 20:36 - United States - Fremont

Today, my roommate found out his girlfriend was paying him a surprise visit. Desperate, he secretly hid all his beer bottles under my bed. His girlfriend is my sister's best friend. When she visited, a beer bottle rolled out. She told my sister and parents that I'm drinking. FML

hpandher - 13/04/2016 20:29 - India - Ghaziabad

Today, I got response from 3 independent companies I have given interviews to. Apparently single rejection in a day wasn't enough. FML

KereKris - 13/04/2016 20:20 - Netherlands - Group

Today, I was very passionately talking to my mom about climate change. After a while, she looked me in the eye and asked: "But what is REALLY bothering you? Nobody can get THIS upset about climate change. It doesn't even matter." This attitude is exactly why the planet is fucked. FML

anom - 13/04/2016 19:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, I have applied to several jobs. I have done follow up emails for all of them and most of those emails have resulted in a reply that they will be calling me early this week. As it is Thursday now and I have gotten no calls I checked my phone number on the applications. They are all wrong. FML

alovest2015 - 13/04/2016 19:30 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I was texting my husband and we were getting pretty dirty as he is gone for 9 months. My dad texted me in the middle of it. That would have been OK if I didn't send him a message with all the things I would like to do to him. FML

ashamed - 13/04/2016 19:18 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today i finally built up the courage to go to the gym, which is a big deal for me as a plus size woman. Not 15 minutes into my work out some muscle head came over to tell me i don't belong in the gym because I'm 'too fat'. FML.

wtfbroidfwy - 13/04/2016 19:18 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally decided to get rid of my bulky otter box phone case, since I haven't dropped my phone in a long time. When I took it off, I was used to my phone being bigger, so i dropped it and cracked the screen. FML

Thelonelydino - 13/04/2016 19:01 - United States

Today, I was driving home from school when I suddenly had to pee. So I was speeding and a cop pulled me over. I promptly peed myself right as the cop finally let me go with a warning. FML

paige9824 - 13/04/2016 18:48 - United States - Kingston

Today, I decided that it is my senior year of high school and I should stop being a pussy and skip school for once with my friend. We went out to eat and after ten minutes our superintendent and principle walked in and said hello. He knows my family well. FML

Shshhs - 13/04/2016 18:48 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out the girl I have had a crush on for 2 years, she said yes Trent. That's my twin brother's name. Fml

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I finally stood up to my mom and told her that as an introvert I desperately need some time alone to just recover. She, being the bitch queen of the extroverts, translated this in her head to, “I hate this family”, so she screamed at me, called me ungrateful, and made me homeless. FML

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Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

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Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

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Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me about the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

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Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

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Today, as my wife loves games, she set me a series of clues leading to our date night, where she's waiting for me. WHY? She knows how bad a problem solver I am. By the time she realised I was going to be hopelessly late, and answered my 50 missed calls, I’d only solved the first 2 clues out of 18 total. FML

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