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    : 320



    Wobbly

    Anonymous - 15/09/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
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    Life comes at you fast

    Anonymous - 18/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I’m 20, pregnant, and getting a divorce. I asked my soon to be ex why he even bothered marrying me in the first place. He said it’s because his parents “made him.” I can’t believe I’m going to be a pregnant divorcee before I’m even able to legally have my first drink. FML
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    A day to remember

    Sam - 20/09/2025 09:00

    Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML
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    Snuggle

    Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML
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    Little bundle of fluff

    Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML
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    Ticking time bomb

    Rosa - 27/09/2025 12:00

    Today, my ex-boyfriend went "social media official" with another girl. He dumped me less than 24 hours ago for forgetting to get utensils for our takeout. Now I know why he’s been systematically picking fights and getting irrationally angry over minuscule things for the past three months. FML
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    Doggy dog world

    No way, dog - 01/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML
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    Celebrate!

    Anonymous - 02/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML
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    Gushing

    NotCream - 04/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
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    Walk it off

    Anonymous - 08/10/2025 03:00

    Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
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    Thanks Dad, but…

    Sad cuck - 09/10/2025 22:00

    Today, my dad called in a rage, saying he caught my "cheating whore" girlfriend at a bar on a date. I had to admit to him that she and I participate in a cuckold lifestyle. The sheer disgust and disappointment in his voice has been haunting me all day. FML
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    Hair today, gone tomorrow

    Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML
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    BBFs

    Anonymous - 19/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I was hanging with my lesbian friend, who I am secretly in love with. I bought her flowers, took her out to eat, and we held hands all through dinner. We met up with our friends later and she told them what we did, then said, "Isn't she the best friend ever? I'm so glad I have an honorary sister like her." FML
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    Why though?

    - 23/10/2025 03:00

    Today, my best friend of over 16 years is getting married. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Instead I was uninvited a few weeks ago. FML
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    Sexy time

    Not such a stud - 24/10/2025 22:00

    Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
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    Unwelcome

    Anonymous - 28/10/2025 12:00

    Today, for my birthday, my mum got me a puppy. I have never expressed any interest in owning a dog. She insists it’s a thoughtful gift but when I look at it, all I see is a bunch of responsibility, training it, extra bills, smells, taking it for walks, chewed furniture. Bollocks to this. FML
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    HSR FML

    ZelWinters1981 - 04/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I applied for the health and safety representative role at work as an add-on to my role. I convinced a co-worker to put his name down along with mine so I wasn't the only one. He didn't want it so much, and it went to a vote… which I lost. FML
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    How the turntables…

    - 24/11/2025 00:00

    Today, I learned that the girl who severely bullied me in highschool for being a lesbian just came out as a lesbian. FML
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    Confuddled

    Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML
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    Make it make sense

    Anonymous - 27/11/2025 15:00

    Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML
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    Silver linings, eh?

    Take Me With You - 29/11/2025 09:00

    Today, I found my sister online after over a year of no contact. Our other sister framed her, getting our parents to kick out and disown her. Her childhood sweetheart and his mom took her in, and is now living a life of luxury with them abroad, while we live off government checks, which BARELY cover bare basics. FML
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    Mixology

    Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML
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    Keeping up appearances

    JaneSimple - 02/12/2025 22:00

    Today, just like every other celebratory day (like my anniversary or birthday) I ordered my own Christmas present. My husband doesn't get it. I tried to explain. He openly admits he has no idea what I like and has no interest in learning, but wants me to have something to open so he won't look bad. FML
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    I ate being proved right

    Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
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    Vindictive self report

    Anonymous - 10/12/2025 00:00

    Today, it's been a few months since I spent about three weeks in a relationship with a woman at work, who then left me to get back with her ex-husband. For some reason she reported us both to HR for our inappropriate relationship. My future at this company now rests on a meeting I have this afternoon with HR. FML
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    Bull

    Bull no more - 11/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I'm the "bull" of a cuckolding relationship. Well, not anymore: I got the usual "come over" text and went over, only for the husband to come after me with a crowbar, yelling that his wife treats him like dirt because of me. FML
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    Moving on

    Mourning Myrtle - 13/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML
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    PERVERTS!

    - 15/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I tackled and punched some pervert for taking up-skirt photos of a teen girl in a store. I’m now being threatened with a lawsuit because the “teen” was actually the guy's very young looking wife and they were doing some kinky role play in public. FML
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    Ten pages?

    Anonymous - 17/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I emailed my resume to a recruiter but attached a ten-page stream-of-consciousness grocery list instead. The recruiter replied, “Interesting priorities.” Now I’m on a three-email chain where everyone is debating whether olives belong in banana bread and asking about my sandwich preferences. FML
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    Bonus

    Anonymous - 18/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I finally got a bonus virtual gift card in my email that was thrown in for buying a new mattress. Except I've never used a virtual gift card before, I only have the vaguest idea as to how to use it. I actually googled how to use it because I was so clueless. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
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    Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
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    Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML
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    Today, I sent my mom a link to a news article via Facebook. Immediately after sending, however, I noticed I had forgotten to copy the news article's link, and what I had sent instead was the last thing I had copied and pasted: a porn link. FML
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    Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML
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    Today, I fell down concrete stairs trying to plug my computer into an outlet. I now have a twisted ankle, scrape on my elbow and a huge scratch across my laptop. The best part? The outlet wasn't even working. FML
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