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Just to clarify, the dress code was business casual but since it was on a farm, I was trying to choose comfortable, practical shoes that would not get totally ruined and that still looked nice which proved to be a bit of a challenge. After lots of shopping around and trying on many pairs of shoes, I found a pair of flats and I ended up wearing those. It did rain pretty heavily later so I ended up getting permission to change into shoes that I wouldn't mind getting muddy. This had absolutely nothing to do with entitlement, I was just trying to be practical :)

Caturday surprise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairview

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 649

You deserved it 5 486

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 086

You deserved it 46 143

By Soon2beexhr - 05/02/2018 15:00

Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 525

You deserved it 228

Wasted moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 1 410

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 873

You deserved it 779

Classy guy

By Anonymous - 01/02/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 028

You deserved it 6 726

Rookie mistake

By Lokimagnus - 25/03/2020 23:05

Today, I was working from home. I felt very sleepy, so I set my online status “Active” and went back to bed. I woke up to 3 missed calls from my boss and an email from him, containing a webcam screenshot of me asleep in bed. I totally forgot he has remote access to my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 3 061

The Boxer

By single - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I checked the box with the ring to make sure it was still there, and saw a piece of paper in it. It said, "No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 825

You deserved it 311

GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

By mottephobe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 741

You deserved it 37 408

Inexplicable

By omnomnom - 24/07/2021 06:01

Today, my son asked me if a video of a flame on a computer actually gives off heat like a fireplace. He was serious. He's 17 and inexplicably has straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 155

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 514

You deserved it 7 063

By NotThatKind - 24/08/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 637

You deserved it 42 439

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 590

You deserved it 3 884

Bass Pro Shop

By superfreak6 - 20/05/2016 13:25 - United States - New Orleans

Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 950

You deserved it 1 980

Hungry eyes

By choldcreations - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 478

You deserved it 42 074

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 11:16 - United States - Woodinville

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 5 651

By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 15:14 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 571

You deserved it 16 031

How? Why? When?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found on my brother's laptop thousands of pictures of my wife naked, in the shower and even a few of us having sex. That fucking creep put spy cams in our bedroom and bathroom. I’m so angry I don’t even know where to turn, hopefully the police can give me a hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 113

Now what?

By svsksosnns - 11/05/2016 03:59 - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 002

You deserved it 1 044

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 751

You deserved it 4 397

FML on Facebook

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Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 82 615

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 940

You deserved it 4 023

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 7 998

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 383

You deserved it 2 081

Today, I found out my son is getting bullied. His stepdad doesn’t care, in fact he’s all for bullying because he thinks it will force my son to stop being smart, or "a dork" as he calls him, and fit in with the normal kids for a change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 221

Today, after my cheating wife moved out earlier this year, the kids are with her and her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't get a single invite from any of my local family members to Thanksgiving dinner. I had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 154