The Top

OP here, I live in Maryland and had to fly to Dallas for my hockey tournament. Although my stick showed up at the right airport, my bag containing my gear was somehow flown to Jacksonville instead of Dallas.

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 242

You deserved it 2 390

By lolcaption2324 - 23/10/2015 11:07 - United States

Today, I pulled a girl out of the way of a car. She yelled at me because I made her drop her phone, which then got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 613

You deserved it 1 792

lolcaption2324 tells us more.

lolcaption2324 13

Saturday 24 October 2015 11:51

No, actually she yelled, "It should've been you b*tch!" And "what the h*ell?"

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 14:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I called and went downtown after the city incorrectly issued fines against my property and threatened jail time for violating city ordinances, not paying fines, and not filing permits. They told me that, until fines are paid, they cannot correct a thing even though they got the address wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 427

You deserved it 285

By drivingmecrazy - 13/12/2016 16:54 - United States - Stamford

Today, my mom once again yelled at me for "driving erratically." She texts while driving 70 miles per hour on the highway, but apparently driving through a yellow light is "reckless." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 296

You deserved it 710

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The Top

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 3 094

Today, I start my second shift at my new job. Apparently, I'm closing by myself. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 964

You deserved it 542

Always leave a tip, otherwise your plans might fall through.

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 183

Today, at a funeral, I'd told my autistic son it would be over at 11:30. By 11:33 he was loudly complaining the funeral should be over, and could we leave because he was bored. I had to drag him out, still loudly complaining about the time, while 50 relatives glared absolute daggers at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 387

Today, I took my girlfriend to a beginners’ painting class. She and everyone else was able to produce a painting significantly better than mine, and I got laughed at for my lack of skill. I’ve been painting for twenty-five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 210

Today, in the neon-lit maze of Tokyo, I stumbled, drunk and disoriented, mistaken for a lost sailor. Arrested, I found myself at the wrong naval base. At 3 AM, two stern Master Chiefs arrived, confusion turning to relief as they whisked me away, navigating the streets like seasoned captains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 562