The Top

Op here. I don't have a problem with various bodily fluids getting on the sheets. But. I have tissues on the headboard and my bathroom is two steps away from my bed. So it was just generally disrespectful all around.

Good boy

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 394

You deserved it 939

By GoAggies - 21/06/2016 17:11 - United States - Herriman

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 054

You deserved it 2 515

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 548

You deserved it 2 782

By TriangularBanana - 06/05/2016 21:45 - United States - Cypress

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 105

You deserved it 1 598

By Hunter Ferguson - 31/07/2018 19:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 840

You deserved it 258

By Singleagain - 19/04/2016 12:01 - Sint Maarten (Dutch part) - Philipsburg

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 487

You deserved it 10 099

Fairytale ending

By Anonymous - 09/06/2020 17:00

Today, as something cute to do, my boyfriend and I dressed as Snow White and the Prince so we could photograph the moment he kisses me and I wake up. He thought it would be funny to use his penis, so now there’s a picture of us dressed up with my dumb self kissing his penis with my eyes closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 1 405

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Today, my mother gave me hell for my "video game addiction". The "game" in question? A professional flight simulator program that I'm using to complement my flight school lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 140

You deserved it 1 764

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 8 329

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 186

You deserved it 4 671

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 878

You deserved it 28 259

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 630

You deserved it 27 524

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 78