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hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

By Anonymous - 31/07/2017 20:00 - United States - Hurricane

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 3 889

Ready for the grill!

By boopingsnoot - 05/08/2017 20:00

Today, at work, the chest freezer was accidentally turned off. I work at a vet and the freezer is our morgue. It got opened before anyone realized the contents had thawed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 074

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 524

Kaboom!

By stupidity - 23/08/2017 21:45 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air and tried catching it with one hand, but I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, so in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it in less than 5 seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 4 156

By Océane Léana K - 01/09/2017 01:29

Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 755

You deserved it 250

Get in there!

By Scared4Lf - 19/08/2016 18:10 - United States - Lamoure

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 985

You deserved it 1 557

Thanks for the support

By Theslacker... - 09/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 290

By TubaAssassin - 28/11/2017 06:00

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 907

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 14/12/2017 01:30

Today, a stranger yelled, "Non-believers shouldn't wear these!" He then took my rosary and ran off. It belonged to my dead brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 456

You deserved it 330

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 19:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 893

You deserved it 302

By Forever_Cursed - 28/06/2016 14:02 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, I sent my daughter to her dad's house for the week. She decided to pack my remotes and most of my clothes and shoes, in an effort to make me come get her as soon as I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 389

You deserved it 1 469

Forever_Cursed tells us more.

Forever_Cursed 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 6:23

Im the OP!! Glad this got accepted but to clarify some things nothing is going on in his home. She is just being a drama queen because he lives in a middle class home and I live in the suburbs . She doesn't like being there because " the demon spawns" also known as her brother and sisters are there and she is the oldest. She also doesn't have her own room at his house like she does at mines.

End of the road

By Anonymous - 28/02/2018 05:00

Today, I woke up to a note on my nightstand from my fiancée, along with the ring I proposed to her with yesterday, which stated that not only was she not ready to be married, but she’d been planning to end things before I “blindsided" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 640

You deserved it 486

By cat cat - 13/07/2018 01:30

Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 062

You deserved it 525

Rachel! Emily!

By MoreThenFriends - 16/08/2018 22:00

Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 052

You deserved it 251

Relaxed

By Craptastic - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 187

You deserved it 841

Unwarranted

By Varnpike - 18/12/2018 03:00

Today, I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a picture of my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 6 666

By AyoitsSteveo - 24/05/2009 09:49 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 927

You deserved it 159 427

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 282

You deserved it 391

By blonde moment - 23/06/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 605

Caught in 404p

By bgierczak2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 1 784

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 374

You deserved it 2 241

By horriblelife3006 - 27/08/2016 06:08

Today, my boyfriend showed me his need for speed. It was amazing, except he showed it to me with my new car while running away from the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 034

You deserved it 1 338

horriblelife3006 tells us more.

horriblelife3006 12

Sunday 28 August 2016 13:15

Hi guys OP here! And I'm so excited as this is my first published FML! So I'm here to clarify some things! #1 - Yeap luckily I wasn't in the car at the time it happened but I did saw it from a distance. And many of you have asked for me to break up with him but I didn't as he did not commit a serious offence! He was rushing to the hospital as his Mother was ill and he was in such a state of panic that he didn't knew he was speeding so I apologise if it's confusing but at the time that I was posting This, I did not know about why he was speeding! Perhaps I should have said speeding away from the cops instead of running away! So I do hope it clarified any issues! Do continue to leave more comments and I will get back to you guys later! Thank you!