Sex and Intimacy: Woof woof - FML

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 6 713

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Same thing different taste

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 8 811

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 170

You deserved it 5 401

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 478

You deserved it 4 856

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 10 326

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 5 460

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 2 129

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 913

You deserved it 5 516

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 161

You deserved it 5 253

By Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 760

You deserved it 5 803

Next

Top comments

n1rvanat1zed 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:11

So he basically doesn't understand exactly how doggiestyle works.

littlemissdqgirl 8

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:12

Wow, your sex life must be kinky lol

Comments

Styna_fml 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 9:28

Did he he scratch his ears with his feet? If so, at least he's flexible.

mugiwara_fml 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 17:26

And peeing everywhere... :o)

daguilar5245 0

Monday 24 May 2010 15:47

omg maybe your boyfriend is a dog

hobo_lowbo 0

Monday 24 May 2010 17:25

mmmmmmmmmmm kinky, send him round

razorwashere 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 21:30

wtf? haha

Spooky_Variety 5

Tuesday 8 June 2010 19:38

Puppy Play for the win!

monkeypeaches503 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 2:19

Well, he must have gotten bored.

Ethos_fml 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 8:50

Once again. What's wrong with doing what turns a person on? Furthurmore why do you think it's neccesary to post and complain about this? He's doing what makes him feel good, and he is doing it in a very personal way, in front of you. Way to go and humiliating him by posting this online. And yes, I said this already in another post but it's the same thing. You focus on what makes you happy and allow him to open up to you in personal ways. Trust me. You'll Jane a much happier and "livelier" relationship.

captainbj2 0

Friday 22 July 2011 1:51

and what if it doesn't make you happy... there are 2 people involved

tohaveandtohold 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 8:11

licking is a turn on, barking

Lady_Lakura 0

Friday 9 July 2010 2:47

Get over yourself, and think about what makes him happy not just you.

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Today, I was driving to a gas station because I'd noticed I was almost on empty. Literally a block away from the gas station, my car broke down in the middle of an intersection, and I had to push my car to the side of the road, only to be questioned by police for "suspicious behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 208

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 3 742

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 489

You deserved it 13 450

Today, I'm terminally ill, in a foreign country for treatment, and I was feeling hurt and sad inside, so I rang my parents to just talk, to feel warm and protected. My father told me on the phone with an indifferent tone, "Son, we're out for some shopping and getting groceries, Mom will call you back." They never did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 90

Today, I had a job interview. I have another job I want to leave, but haven't said anything yet. At the interview, I mentioned where I worked, and the interviewer name-dropped my manager. She then told me he was her step brother. So much for not wanting my manager to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 192

Today, my parents announced they are adding a sister-wife to our very conservative Christian family. FML

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You deserved it 238