When it's cold outside By Lewis - 12/12/2018 18:00 It's duck cold! I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 879 You deserved it 2 406
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 367 You deserved it 18 658
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 608 You deserved it 15 807
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 673 You deserved it 7 922
Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 395 You deserved it 294
Today, I said to a coworker, “Epstein didn’t kill himself” in our office, as a joke response to something he'd said. Later, someone from HR pulled me aside and said, “We don’t comment on ongoing investigations.” I work at a dog food company. FML I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 135