When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 874 You deserved it 2 104
Today, while playing with a group of kids at the school where I work, I heard an immense rip. I looked down and recoiled in shock as I noticed a gaping maw in my pants stretching from my ass to my left kneecap. I had to finish the rest of the day and walk home like that. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 126 You deserved it 1 906
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 247 You deserved it 1 161
Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 807 You deserved it 2 202
Today, my girlfriend and I, who are both heavy set, went into the pharmacy and asked if they sold any over the counter antidiarrhetic medicine. The store clerk, eyeing us up and down, said, “Uh, sorry, we don’t have antidiabetic medicine.” FML I agree, your life sucks 1 020 You deserved it 302
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 105 You deserved it 3 305
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋