When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 118 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML I agree, your life sucks 52 285 You deserved it 19 024
Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 389 You deserved it 20 904
Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 129 You deserved it 524
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 388 You deserved it 2 897
Today, a coworker sent a last-minute request for a highly complex custom report based on a spreadsheet. It took most of the weekend and Monday to get right because he'd screwed up most of the calculations. The client was pissed; they'd wanted it done by 5PM GMT that Friday. He'd sat on the request until 5 EST Friday. FML I agree, your life sucks 540 You deserved it 87
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 666 You deserved it 962
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅