Kids: Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 918

You deserved it 6 757

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Same thing different taste

Great expectations

By No Expectations No Disappointments - 18/09/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 117

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 135

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 259

You deserved it 3 054

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 630

You deserved it 31 065

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 12:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 380

You deserved it 3 527

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 407

You deserved it 3 061

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 179

You deserved it 1 324

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 764

You deserved it 2 385

By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 336

You deserved it 3 116

Rallred32 20

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:06

Your father has a sick sense of humor, OP.

m22100 14

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:08

That's not something to " kid " about.

Comments

sassy2085 16

Saturday 22 March 2014 7:40

First rule of family's dad's always make up crap and they are never to be believed.

SunTzu2 9

Saturday 22 March 2014 7:49

You're Dad's really cool and loves you. He's got a dark sense of humor and probably likes Monty Pyton ...! It shows he's accepted that you've become an adult and all that goes with it. Say thanks for the drinks and as you slap him on the back tell him he's an arse for not working harder before you were born Good luck in future

figgity83 15

Saturday 22 March 2014 9:00

OP that's terrible, but I assume you're legal to drink in the USA, which means you are 21. While that is awful, why are you crying. Boobs and beer, man up.