Kids: Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two...

By Ugh - 27/02/2013 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 525

You deserved it 7 737

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Same thing different taste

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By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 487

You deserved it 3 176

Call CPS

By LaurenJ - 18/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 162

By roselysunset - 29/07/2015 17:07 - United States - Cypress

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 782

You deserved it 1 641

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 233

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 640

You deserved it 2 894

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 80

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 2 771

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 406

You deserved it 4 334

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 131

Wake up

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 23:01

TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 2 534

MolesterStallone 13

Wednesday 27 February 2013 23:53

You should make her pancakes

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:01

I bet that just scared the crêpe out of you, didn't it?

Comments

19jburner 15

Friday 6 May 2016 22:29

"I NEED SOME ******* PANCAKES!!!"

twistedtater 6

Monday 9 October 2017 7:39

Well did you?

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The Top

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

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You deserved it 4 264

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 756

You deserved it 3 425

Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what was making him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 245

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 3 032

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 822

You deserved it 2 997