Intimacy: Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year... - FML

By notgettingany - 24/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 829

You deserved it 5 044

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Gagging for it

By Noname - 28/01/2009 20:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 219

You deserved it 5 710

By rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 602

You deserved it 5 839

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 12 610

Quickie

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 290

By Amber C - 07/04/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 980

You deserved it 22 974

It's not a competition, but still…

By Shooter71 - 16/10/2010 04:09 - France

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 361

You deserved it 3 828

Biblically correct frustration

By Bigfoot73 - 09/03/2023 08:00 - United States - Statesville

Spicy

Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 373

By Sapphire Mills - 28/11/2018 13:30

Spicy

Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 608

You deserved it 586

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 282

Congratulations

By NeedToGetLaid - 01/03/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 368

Next

Top comments

Nalanie 4

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:22

Woah OP; sucks for you. Not literally; of course.

Cinn_fml 22

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:24

And this is what happens when you have kids, you both become very busy and have to try and fit it in with unexpected interuptions and little time. Just try extra hard to find the time when you're both up for it. Either that or you're complaining because she hasn't tried to initiate it, in which case try yourself.

Comments

Wolverine48Ga 21

Friday 9 September 2016 21:25

ummmm

millsjoshua949 12

Wednesday 9 September 2020 7:45

I'm curious. Have you talked to your wife about it?

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Today, I woke up with a fever, headache and sore throat. All the symptoms of Covid-19. I told my husband, whose responded with, "Sack up and get over yourself." FML

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Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 953

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Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 227

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 2 497

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend posted a video of me going down on him online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 248

Today, I learned the “almost complete” transit that would cut my commute in half is delayed at least another year. When I chose my high school, they said it would be complete by the year’s end. I’m a senior now and it definitely won’t be done before my graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 161