Health: Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered...

There is this new type of cleansing bar, its called soap. No seriously, just use it with a bit of water and it gets rid of that gym-sock stench under your arms. Quite revolutionary, I must say.

Youd_laugh_2 0

Monday 14 December 2009 23:52

If you can't find the shower how could you find the doctor?

quackquackquac 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:07

I saw this in Mad magazine (i don't really know what it's called... i just randomly picked it up at the library.)

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Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 745

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Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light, she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 213

You deserved it 3 448

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 417

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Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 2 447

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 814

Today, a friend temporarily staying at my house with his cats scared one of them into my basement, where the cat then climbed up within the walls to somewhere on the second floor. He then left as he was on a deadline to get to TN by a specific time. He told me I could keep his cat, who is stuck somewhere in a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 62