Intimacy: Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After...

By blank13 - 09/08/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 689

You deserved it 12 431

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 733

You deserved it 32 233

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 542

You deserved it 5 861

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 178

You deserved it 7 130

By Amanda - 02/07/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 637

You deserved it 4 746

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 13:27 - Canada

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 986

You deserved it 3 903

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 194

You deserved it 11 473

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 258

You deserved it 17 279

By Ignitingmylightsaber - 18/10/2009 11:29 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 019

You deserved it 3 569

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 6 449

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 4 658

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 9 August 2009 12:06

What are you worth? Four, maybe five tickets? All joking aside... Those rides last at least two minutes. Not thirty seconds.

survivalism 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 12:09

Your girlfriend's awesome.

Comments

youaresofucked 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 15:42

YDI for cumming after barely getting your pants off :/

abouttofly 12

Sunday 9 August 2009 16:36

I don't get this. You complain that your girlfriend doesn't enjoy sex, yet it's your fault that she doesn't. Maybe you should try making it more enjoyable for her.

saailaway 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 16:41

ur the stupidest dumb shit

freelove_fml 2

Tuesday 11 August 2009 5:22

He complains about his GF being a rude bitch and spilling out private stuff on a complete stranger. This shows lack of respect and she definitely deserves a dump.

jonny2x4 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:15

Ouch! SERVED!!!!!!!

BLNovelist 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:02

Wow, what a bitch. If I were you, I'd have a talk with her and if she doesn't apologize, dump her.

Starchild21 3

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:23

for all we know maybe they were arguing before that i dont know of any girl that would do something like that out of the blue unless hes premature, his "unsatisfying" actions point to him not paying attention to his girl's body language and emotions