Love: Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert,...

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 134

You deserved it 6 365

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By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 183

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 153

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 624

You deserved it 30 242

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 654

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 220

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 4 436

Must've been a good joke

By HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 3 278

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 278

By lapines01 - 12/08/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 346

fearfulsymmetry 1

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

I wasn't aware you could titter vigorously.....I've heard of people working out vigorously, and arguing vigorously, but tittering? How the **** do you manage to do that?

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

that teaches you to not fake you titters

Comments

katkev 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 15:36

Tittered????? WTF does that mean????

Arschloch04 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 21:27

Well kat, it involves the same part of your body you use when you masticate.

tiggyt 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:49

YDI for 1) Being the kind of person who titters 2) Being the kind of person who does it vigorously 3) Laughing too much at a joke just to try and impress someone. *sniffs* the scent of desperation is rather pungent, particularly when combined with language more suited to a Victorian romance novel

cowboyy_fml 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 15:37

sofiaiswhoiam 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 15:48

^^^^^^ if u still dont know what the hell "tittered" means, it means what #87 said. or look it up

stevenmx86 7

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:05

I hate your use of "tittered vigorously" in this fml. It makes me angry every time I arrive down here because it sounds like something my half retarded ex girlfriend would have said as she was constantly trying to sound smart...

bent80 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 17:01

that's not a "titter" that's a horselaugh. ydi for mis-using stupid words.

Splayd 10

Friday 9 September 2011 8:49

What is with all of you morons complaining about the word "titter"? A titter is a "short, half-suppressed laugh". She used the word rather properly, here. Now everyone shut up. Agh.