Intimacy: Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering.... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 082

You deserved it 4 689

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Same thing different taste

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 296

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 121

You deserved it 536

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 3 346

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 262

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Ashland

Spicy

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 137

I have needs

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, it's been a few months since my wife and I have been intimate due to her health, so I have urges but out of respect I don't act on. However, while I was showering, I was scrubbing my dick and I immediately busted all over the shower curtain. I had a walk of shame to inform my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 172

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 105

You deserved it 7 657

A good yanking

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 764

You deserved it 6 770

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 917

You deserved it 58 084

Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 478

Next

Top comments

btstig 11

Monday 12 March 2012 12:05

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

808Boyo 4

Monday 12 March 2012 12:04

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

Comments

jkemp1984 10

Monday 12 March 2012 16:57

Wow.. Your wife sounds like a dick. See what I did there?

Ugi 26

Monday 12 March 2012 17:07

Funny thou' that sounds, that's gotta hurt!

pagullarka 9

Monday 12 March 2012 17:12

Next time when you're long and strong make sure get on her face and slap her with it. And make sure repeat who's your daddy

chuckcloninger 12

Monday 12 March 2012 17:12

I'm voting for a nipple twist myself.

seidel182 0

Monday 12 March 2012 17:50

Next time you nailing her from behind, giver her the ol donkey punch!!

RatedR916_fml 0

Monday 12 March 2012 17:51

Put it in her butt

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 12 March 2012 17:51

hope you were'nt shaving your pubes at the time.

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 12 March 2012 18:01

If my wife did that she would get the mother of all Dutch ovens this weekend. It is Saint Patrick's Day - and that means the consumption of boiled cabbage, corned beef, and of course beer.

prettyboodoll33 2

Monday 12 March 2012 18:03

Did it hurt.?

tphantomt 5

Monday 12 March 2012 18:29

That is too funny!!!

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You deserved it 342

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I agree, your life sucks 42 280

You deserved it 7 543