Love: Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During...

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 348

You deserved it 3 443

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 108

You deserved it 42 177

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 023

You deserved it 8 992

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 626

You deserved it 43 692

Unloading

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 7 797

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 445

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 183

You deserved it 8 056

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 421

You deserved it 21 086

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 991

You deserved it 7 933

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 472

You deserved it 36 508

Poltergeist

By Anonymous - 14/10/2012 17:03 - Estonia

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 810

You deserved it 8 682

KatherineAnne 7

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:06

You sure know how to pick um! Haha

chick92282 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:07

And then you broke up with the thieving little slime, right? PLEASE tell me you broke up with the @ss!

Comments

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:39

The question comes, since sleeping pills aren't really big street drugs... Who was he planning to use them on? You or him? Hopefully he's now your ex

rubberduckie94 13

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:52

Maybe he was stealing sleeping pills do he did not have to listen to you?

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:27

Repeat the second half of that sentence, please.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:29

Wait! Nevermind. You ment "so." *hug*

rubberduckie94 13

Thursday 26 April 2012 3:53

It's ok. I have new press on nails. My husband had been complaining about my texts all night while he is at work.

KeannaLove 32

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:58

Ambien is actually a very addicting drug which is why it's controlled because so many people abuse it. (Dont want to sound like a know it all, it's just I'm a pharmacy tech and I see it all the time.)

polkadots123 2

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:17

What's ambien?

Minna_fml 14

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:21

What's Google?

Angelrose2004 17

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:24

A prescribed sleeping pill that causes some to wake up in jail because of driving recklessly with no memory of the event.

florido_fml 10

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:44

Why go to google when you can ask the people duhhhh idiot

coried91 28

Thursday 26 April 2012 6:44

If you ask the people you will get answers like 55's. While I think the answers can be funny, google just makes life easier.

Phobetor 5

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:18

That is classic addict behavior. If you like him, try to get him help. If he won't get help, get rid of him as fast as you can.

paddy9238 1

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:45

*** yassssssss

qchabs4lifeqc 7

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:47

Ahh, that's a nice man...

Semsong 3

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:50

Just an early Dowry...

alycion 38

Thursday 26 April 2012 3:02

He was probably going to sell them to buy you something nice. Sigh people like him is why it's near impossible to get certain meds. And that's a pretty low form of thieving. Either he's looking for a quick buck or a quick high but yet he doesn't care that who he is taking them from will not have what they need. People like him are who swipe painkillers from people fresh out if surgery.