Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 643

You deserved it 8 729

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 4 256

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 940

You deserved it 5 040

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 927

You deserved it 9 077

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 203

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 084

You deserved it 49 675

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 307

You deserved it 366

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 9 438

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

You deserved it 4 706

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 2 786

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 273

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

RLove1997 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 9:34

Your son is a BOSS

Sookie0113 13

Sunday 29 April 2012 3:24

Hahahaahahahahhh that is so funny it just made my day

landonf 4

Sunday 20 May 2012 10:13

Awesome pimpin my friend lol

thisismeFMLing 0

Friday 15 June 2012 20:58

they grow up so fast :)

curleyQ97 9

Thursday 5 July 2012 8:50

i think you may have a future male prostitute on your hands...

govan1107 1

Sunday 19 August 2012 8:33

Smart kid

rory2damax 7

Friday 7 September 2012 4:56

At least he's not charging the boys...

ILoveZombieBoys 13

Saturday 8 September 2012 4:43

They start awful young huh? XD

jamesman5995 4

Sunday 30 December 2012 2:53

I feel like he won't have the same luck in high school

madgrinchhatter 12

Monday 14 January 2013 23:02

Gigolo in the making

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Today, I got into an online debate about reproductive rights, healthcare, gun laws, and education in the US, all in one thread. Someone told me, “This is the greatest country in the world.” I asked, “Based on what?” He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 295

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of their features, so I asked which one. I was told Homer because we "both could use Weight Watchers and an education." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 506

You deserved it 4 368

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 9 917

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 3 942

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 102

You deserved it 3 922

Today, I find it somewhat amusing that I pranked my wife into believing my cousin copyrighted some tech he sold to Microsoft and became a millionaire, and less than 24 hours later my cousin called me asking to know why my wife was trying to slide into his DM’s with nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 381

Same thing different taste

What up big pimps?

Oversharing

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