Health: Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six...

By Scaredshitless - 03/02/2010 13:48 - France

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 906

You deserved it 3 735

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ozozl - 07/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 969

You deserved it 3 862

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 748

You deserved it 7 378

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 468

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 236

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 301

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 958

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 025

You deserved it 2 594

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 8 362

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 955

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 3 832

hehe_oops 2

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:23

I don't understand how you could do that unless you had really runny shit bad luck though, ew btw when you said the kid "popped out" I imagined him popping out of the toilet just before you got there

050294 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:09

Haha, wow. FYL

Comments

blackllama 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:07

first

michael32123 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 5:31

so u got home and the kid was waiting for you??? or u were walking home and he jumped out outside? more detail I can't fully understand this

flakes_fml 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 19:22

atleast you didn't shit on the chiropracter

050294 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:09

Haha, wow. FYL

crapule31000 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:10

classic

WHODATNATION 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:10

second.

DogmaT_fml 4

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:14

'popped out' lol. thats disgusting.

xsuicidal_memori 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 19:33

ahaaa at first I thought it said pooped out xD

ATwistedUpFrown 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:20

you pooped a 6 year old? o.O I love how you worded this, made me laugh ^_^

joshhh11 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:35

it said popped out dumbarse

jacksonSFcali 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:22

wow that sucks but at least no one saw you... right?

HeroOfWar 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 18:13

The 6 year old did

WorkThatButt 2

Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:44

then he should probably pee into the kids eyes and run like hell

bulll_crap 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:22

haha

kel_pie 1

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:22

ROFLMAO

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:22

At least you don't need to go to the toilet now. ;)

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Scary Kids Technology Geek Gamers Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 866

You deserved it 12 814

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 314

The Top

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 998

You deserved it 27 824

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 426

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 741

You deserved it 3 409

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. Twenty minutes into the job, I was told, "Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go." Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 111

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 557

You deserved it 3 712

Same thing different taste

Paper-thin walls

Hey there!

Top comments

Comments