Miscellaneous Thanks, Stephen King

Thanks, Stephen King

Anonymous - 23/03/2013 00:02 - United States - Buford

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

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Facebook drama

fistycunt4 - 06/12/2014 20:22 - United States - Belmont

Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

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dana - 16/12/2013 22:43 - United States - Montrose

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

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Where did everyone go?

LoveUGuysToo - 05/08/2020 14:03

Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML

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SmittyJA24 - 20/05/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

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smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - 10/11/2010 17:33 - United States

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

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itsover - 11/12/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

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obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

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Treacherous smileys

Steven - 29/08/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

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TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks - 11/09/2012 03:13 - United States - Seattle

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

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BadKitty14 7

Saturday 23 March 2013 6:19

Better to rid yourself of fickle friends now than when it can really hurt you!

AllieCat21 21

Saturday 23 March 2013 6:20

Point out to them that it's the correct spelling. I'd like to see their reactions.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:02

Those unfortunate retards. If they had actually read the book, it is spelled that way. The town children were heartbroken for all their dead pets due to a stretch of highway "kill zone" from the speeding semi trucks. They made a pet cemetery and spelled it "Semetery" because they were little kids and didn't know the correct spelling.

KweenChelly 6

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:28

I haven't read that book in so long... I feel like reading it again now...

surfergirl72 7

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:47

Maybe your to picky with you're friends. Omg! That HURT to write that. Stupid people make me (sic).

melisa_hope 9

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:54

You still didn't spell cemetery correctly.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 23 March 2013 20:39

You people do realize the title of the book is spelled "Pet Semetery" for a reason? In the story, a bunch of heartbroken children over the years pets were run over on a stretch of highway in their town. The "kill zone" where speeding "Orinco" semi trucks blast by going 80mph. The children built a pet cemetery for their dead animals. The sign at the gate entrance to the graveyard was spelled "Pet Semetery" by the kids, because they did 't know any better.

davemich53 4

Saturday 23 March 2013 20:47

If they don't know about Stephen King, you're better off without them!

denzii_beaar 2

Saturday 23 March 2013 20:48

But that's what it's actually called.. People want to run around pretending to be grammar nazis when they don't even know great literature.. What idiots.

iwadasn 32

Saturday 23 March 2013 23:42

Stephen King's a skilled writer, but his books aren't exactly "great literature."

denzii_beaar 2

Sunday 24 March 2013 19:38

Meh. To each their own right? I love S.K novels! So naturally I would say he's the best out there. And certainly an inspiration for the rest of the authors trying to find their place in this genre.

cappellaaa 23

Saturday 23 March 2013 21:24

sucks to suck

Quiet_one 22

Saturday 23 March 2013 21:30

The obvious response to this is to reply with a link to the Amazon (or any bookstore's) page for the book and the comment "Who's the illiterate dumbass now?"