Love Scary

Scary

Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Take a ticket

ugh - 24/05/2015 19:53 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

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Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

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Childfree

Anonymous - 17/08/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

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rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

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Get it on

Anon - 13/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML

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beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

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Turntables

Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

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Show and tell

Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

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Jack - 30/11/2013 08:31 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

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baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

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Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

First ever guy to get excited over those words...

deadxwedding84 5

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?

xxEternalRain 13

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:40

You deserve it you jackass

rochellecliffe 8

Wednesday 24 July 2013 13:32

Stop leading her on, grow some balls and leave her.

InnocentWings 13

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:43

YDI. Dump her, she's too good for you

Vintage_Cola 29

Monday 24 February 2014 18:54

Is she just that bad in bed or...

Luluthus 41

Friday 14 March 2014 20:48

Then why is she still your girlfriend?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 8 September 2020 4:50

Why is she your girlfriend? ydi

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML

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Today, I overheard my husband screaming and sobbing into the phone. Apparently, his mistress has been cheating on him with both his brother and their uncle. Who’s the woman in question? My much younger niece, who lives next door. I don’t even know where to begin to approach this dumpster fire. FML

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Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

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Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

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Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

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Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

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