Kids Public freakout

Public freakout

Anonymous - 29/06/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

targetlove - 10/01/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

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life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

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Shitty situation

Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

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peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

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matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

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jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

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Fire hose

pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

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Potty

Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

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Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

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Revealing

doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

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pikachurro 18

Tuesday 30 June 2015 11:18

Didn't you know squats make your booty nicer? The wasp just wanted a piece, you can't blame him.

Cassandra2015 21

Tuesday 30 June 2015 11:23

Sounds like mom deserves a glass of wine after those misfortunes !

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 30 June 2015 17:05

Today, I flew up a lady's leg and got stuck. Even after stinging her four times, I was still unable to escape. She let out a massive fart. FML

annarcheer 19

Tuesday 30 June 2015 17:13

Motherhood at its finest :)

RealSuperSand 21

Tuesday 30 June 2015 19:22

Put another mark in the "why not to have kids" column.

Karinrinkashi 9

Tuesday 30 June 2015 19:54

i thought that wasps can only bite once?

gallifreyanqueen 10

Tuesday 30 June 2015 20:02

Bees can only sting once. Wasps can sting as many damn times as they want

sbarua219 17

Tuesday 30 June 2015 20:44

This is literally an FML moment lol. Hope you're okay OP

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:01

Apparently the moderators and FML staff thought so too, what a coincidence!

sbarua219 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:07

Why's this getting downvoted? Y'all are some butthurt douches

sbarua219 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 19:23

Why're y'all downvoting this? My comment said nothing to offend OP. Y'all are rude and butthurt

littleking94 14

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:17

Sounds like the wasp was in a shitty mood.

5FDPmetalhead 17

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:22

The wasp just wanted some booty And maybe thought you'd get pleasure from pain? Fifty shades of wasp???

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Tuesday 30 June 2015 22:06

sounds like a shitty day. =/

Exaspera 54

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:42

What a terrible day for you! I hope tomorrow is better.

megansheeran 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:51

I've been stung so many times that I am terrified of bees and wasps and cringe every time they come near me. I can't imagine how much that sucked.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

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Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

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Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said, "It's nothing personal." FML

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Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

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Today, I heard a radio ad for the new anti-bullying efforts at a local middle school. The speaker in the ad was the school counselor… who was also my bully in high school. FML

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