Sex, Valentine's Day, Romantic Intimacy Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

henhouse - - Australia - Brunswick East

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

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Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

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Nuts

Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

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Emily - 21/08/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

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ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

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True romantic

Anonymous - 28/03/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML

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EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

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unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

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Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

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Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

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MikaykayUnicorn 36

Sunday 19 July 2015 11:57

"Prepare for take off."

pizzafrommars 14

Sunday 19 July 2015 11:58

Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.

pike1346 3

Wednesday 22 July 2015 4:32

Bird strike!

Candied_person 13

Friday 24 July 2015 6:37

That's a keeper

purplegold 19

Monday 27 July 2015 17:42

You are dating a Minuteman

open_secrets 15

Tuesday 11 August 2015 10:59

you should've put him on auto pilot until you were ready to stop

XandWacky 23

Monday 4 April 2016 22:19

Best. FML. Ever.

Azazel166 9

Friday 3 February 2017 1:53

2 pump chump

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

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Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

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Today, I got a new cat. He's outrageously clingy. Like, "extremely unhealthy obsession with me" clingy. I just wanted an emotional support animal, but it looks like I have become an emotional support animal instead. I feel terrible for trying to get him to not want to be with me all the time. FML

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Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

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Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

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Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

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